Accentuating the Positive

As parents, we all want to see our children succeed and be happy in school. While it is natural for parents to take for granted their child’s achievements and instead focus on the subjects or areas where a child may have room for improvement, remember that every child needs support and encouragement.

Here are a few tips on how to focus on the positive when talking with your child about school, in even the most difficult situations:

Avoid regular disapproval.

Most likely, a child who is struggling in school already feels upset about it. Reminding your child frequently that he or she has disappointed you, or pointing out in a negative way what they already know (“This is a terrible report card,” or “You need to bring up your grades or you’ll end up failing fifth grade”) is likely to make your child feel more discouraged rather than motivated to do better. Instead, ask your child open-ended questions and listen to the answers. How does your child feel about his or her teacher or teachers? What subjects does your child find the most interesting or exciting? What subjects does your child dislike? Why? Understanding your child’s situation will arm you with the information you’ll need to help your child (and seek additional help if necessary).

Notice your child’s successes.

Positive reinforcement comes in many forms, but one way to encourage your child to do better in school is by taking regular notice of his or her achievements, big or small. Particularly as your child becomes older, specific, positive comments about your child’s efforts (“You’ve really been working to make your study time more productive, and that’s great”) are more meaningful than nonspecific, vague praise (“Good job”). Remember to recognize improvements—if your child produces an improved mid-semester report card or a better grade on a math test than last time, don’t let it go unnoticed. Congratulate your child right away and acknowledge his or her hard work.

Ask how you can help.

By asking questions, you are encouraging your child to open up to you not only about school, but about his or her life outside the home (including aspects of your child’s life that may be negatively impacting their studies). At the same time, you can show your child that you’re supportive by opening the floor to him or her to offer ideas on how you can help. Your child’s answer may shed new light on the best path forward, but more importantly, it will provide your child the opportunity to think through one or more possible solutions to his or her problem.

Help your child believe in himself or herself.

In the long run, a child who perseveres even when school gets tough is more likely to demonstrate those same valuable skills later in life as a college student or in a job. How do you instill such determination in your child? By letting your child know that you believe in him or her, too, unconditionally. Accepting a child for who he or she is results in a confident child.

Empower your child to succeed in school and in life by employing positive parenting whenever possible. You may notice a change in your child’s attitude, motivation and overall happiness. At Huntington, we understand that it’s hard to know where to turn when your child is struggling in school. We can help. Huntington will work with you and your child to uncover the root of the problem and tailor a program to focus on the areas where your child needs the most assistance. If your child needs help in school, call Huntington Learning Center.

Dr. Raymond J. Huntington and Eileen Huntington are co-founders of Huntington Learning Center, which has been helping children succeed in school for more than 30 years.  For more information about Huntington, call 1-800 CAN LEARN.

Thank You Note 101: How children of all ages can help send a note of thanks

This Christmas season may be remembered as the time that I frantically emplored my children to JUST. SLOW. DOWN. when tearing into gifts and utttered such phrases as don’t-dare-rip-the-card-attached-to-that-present and please-someone-tell-me-who-sent-that-gift-right-now.

I am the mother of two preschool children…two preschool children who are blessed by loving friends and family members who bestowed  upon them mounds and mounds of Christmas presents. Being a lifelong subscriber to Southern Living magazine and firm believer in social graces, I fully intend to have the children (and myself) write thank you notes to all these generous realitives in our lives.

Thus the reason I manically dug through the discarded wrapping paper in search of lost gift tags so I could know who gave us the dinosaur book and who bestowed upon us the diaper bag and ringing cell phone set (not sure if I am truly thankful for the ringing cell phone, but a card will be sent nonetheless).

If you believe as emphatically as I do about having children write thank-you notes, gather the children and have them sit down to scribble out a few notes of gratitude for all the loot received this holiday season. Teaching kids how to write a note of thanks is an excellent way to instill a gracious spirit as well as practice those necessary writing skills.

Obviously, age plays a factor in children’s ability to write a thank you note. However even young children can get in on the action. Below is an example by age group of how children can participate in writing thank you notes.

0-18 months: Babies can help in the note writing process by simply being present while mom or dad write the thank-you note. Cheerfully say “Now we are writing Uncle Peanut to thank him for that toy he gave you for Christmas” as you jot out a quick thank-you to relatives. Although a six month old will not understand the process of writing thank-you notes, they will enjoy the one-on-one time with a parent. Involving a child in such actions early on sets a precedent for how things will be later in life.

18-36 months: Toddlers can use their newfound skills to help the note writing process. They can attach stickers to notes or create a drawing that can be tucked inside the envelope for the receiver to enjoy. Because this age group is on the go the majority of the time, it might be best to write the thank-you notes before sitting down with the child. Read the note to the child, talk about how nice it was for Nanny to give her a new doll, and then have the child decorate part of the note with crayons or stickers.

3-4 year olds: Preschoolers are aware of letters and words and can be a considerable help with writing thank you notes. Children this age usually can write their name so give them the opportunity to sign the bottom of each note. Some preschoolers can even write words and could write one or two in the note themselves. For example, the parent can write “Thank you, Papa, for the new _____.” and the child can fill in the blank with the correct word.

5-6 year olds: Depending on writing skills, this age group could write the note themselves. Let go of any anxiety of how most likely the note will be sloppy or unreadable, Just remember that the message of gratitude is being expressed from a child’s heart. 5 and 6 year olds might be able to write a simple sentence of “Thank you for the Lego’s.” or might need to use the fill-in-the blank method listed above. Either way, they are an active part of the thank-you note writing process.

7-10 year olds: Elementary-aged children can sit down and write out a thank-you note independently. The trick with this age group is actually getting them to accomplish the task. Make this more of a fun activity rather than a chore by setting up a thank-you note writing center, complete with blank cards, stickers, colored pencils, envelopes and stamps. If a child has several notes to write, break up this project over several days. Make a set time, such as after supper, that everyone sits down and jots out a few notes.

‘Tweens and teens: Getting teenagers to do anything can be a hassle. Approach sending thank-you notes by handing over all control to the child. Explain why the notes need to be written and mailed and then give teens free range in how they choose to get the job done. Perhaps they design a cool card on the computer or send out witty emails (Miss Manners might not appreciate electronic communications as a way of sending “thank yous” but she might also have never lived with a teenager). The key here is giving over control and then stepping back and let teenagers decide how they would like to accomplish the task. Do not criticize the harsh neon colors chosen or critique the wording. Simply smile knowing that the task has been accomplished independently.

Do not forget that children are not the only ones who need to respond with a note of thanks for gifts received. Adults should do so as well. Set a good example for children by sitting down and writing out a few thank-you notes while the family is relaxing in the living room in the evening. Let them see that even mom and dad need to be sure to express gratitude for the gifts they received…even when those gifts consume a large amount of batteries and spontaneously make terrifying beeping sounds in the dead of night.

Look! Look! Look!

We have dreamed about it for over a year…

and can finally be unveiled…

It is our brand new

sparkly

super fancy

full of great people

and fun information

Contributor Page!

We are starting 2010 off right.

Now…

go!

Take a look!

(Click here if you don’t want to go searching for it…this will take you there)

Thanks Bianca for making it look so pretty!

Corner Bakery Gift Certificate GIVE AWAY

Recently, I did a little Facebook Contest with Corner Bakery…I did not win.

*sob*

BUT as a consolation prize…

(yes, I needed consolation)

They sent me a $25 gift certificate to Corner Bakery to give away!

Hooooooray!

All ya need to do to enter is live or work near a Corner Bakery…and leave a comment below. I will randomly choose a winner one week after the publication of this post and notify them via email.

The catering provided to me by Corner Bakery for the contest was great. It was super yummy. Corner Bakery recently put together this video about their catering. It is fun…and shows how much easier it is to just give them a call when you need some help!

See, I told you it was fun!

Now, please leave a comment to win the gift certificate…

Good luck!

Update:  We have chosen a winner and sent the prize via mail.  Congrats!

I drive a Van

I drive a van.  Not a mini-van, but a 12 passenger-gear shift on the floor-no power steering-engine under the driver-feels like I’m driving a bus-VAN.  I never wanted to drive a van (not even a frills-included mini-van).  In fact, it wasn’t until I HAD to drive this large van that I started driving it.

And I like it.

Really.

Driving in Nigeria is NOTHING like driving in America.  We have one stop-light in our city of half a million people.  Instead of stoplights, there are police officers who stand at major intersections directing traffic (this due mostly to the fact that electricity is not always on).

The main form of transportation for most people is on the back of a motorcycle…and they are EVERYWHERE!  One friend says that they are like bees…they swarm together but disappear when it rains.  In fact, you will see groups of drivers huddled into small stores and under covered areas to wait for the rain to pass.  The motorcycle drivers usually swerve in and out of traffic, cut people off, and come so close to cars that you think they will hit.  But, they can be helpful.  My husband uses them as linemen because they block traffic at times when you are turning left.

The roads in Nigeria are not paved like the ones in North Texas.  Some do have pavement on them, but it’s so very thin which makes them prone to holes…lots of holes.  Sometimes we feel like we are skiing on moguls, swerving around the potholes.  The taxi drivers know the holes so well that they look like they are dancing around the road.

Turning in Nigeria is not very organized.  People turn in front of you, behind you, around you, and often turn down the wrong side of the road.  In fact, it is very common for motorcycles and even cars to travel down the wrong side of the road.

People also provide an obstacle while driving as they are everywhere!  Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa (almost twice the size of Kenya which is the next largest). Once you travel on the roads here, you believe that figure (and we don’t even live in the most populous region!).  There are people everywhere!  And if there is no one to be seen, there will be a path that leads to somewhere.  It’s amazing.

There are some rules to driving here, and the more I drive, the more I learn.  The traffic guys have signals to tell you when to stop, go and turn.  They hold up one finger to let cars know who will be the last one to go through the intersection before everyone needs to stop.  We honk our horns a lot- we use them to warn people that we are passing, that we are turning, or to let someone know that they are in your way.  Horns are used more that signal lights here.  You can’t talk on your cell phone while driving…it will cost you N4000 if you do and get caught ($26) and they take your license!  There are “Road Safety Patrols” who scatter themselves throughout the city.  They randomly stop cars to check for papers (called “particulars”) and fire extinguishers.  If you don’t have them, you pay a fine.

I don’t drive at night unless I have to.  Since electricity is not reliable there are very few street lights.  It gets very dark without street lights.  Plus, some people don’t turn their lights on fully and those who do usually have their brights on!  Also, people who are walking don’t always wear light colored clothing, making it very difficult to see them.  So, my husband usually has to drive at night, but he doesn’t like to drive across town.  When people travel out of town they try very hard to get to their destination before dark!

So, I drive a big white van.  I also drive a small blue one and a Toyota Camry.  But I like to drive the van.  I like being big and high enough to see all the potholes.  I just don’t like to park it!

Making Our Own Glow Stick

Nicholas LOVES glow sticks. We must keep the glow stick companies in business because I always have to have a stock of glow sticks on hand. He loves to crack them and take them to bed with him but he also loves to crack them in the middle of the day. He especially loves to get his hands on an unopened box of 15 glow sticks and crack them all at once. He loves glow sticks.

So we couldn’t pass up this experiment to let him make his own glow stick. The ingredients were simple: zinc sulfide powder, vegetable oil, and water.  We got all of this in a kit but there are lots of sites on the internet that have directions for making your own glow sticks as well as where to locate the zinc sulfide powder.

Nicholas loves doing science experiments because he gets to wear his safety gloves. However, these are obviously adult size gloves and they can’t be very safe if they inhibit him from grasping items well. Anyone know where I can find child-size disposable latex gloves?

Daddy held the test tube while Nicholas measured the zinc sulfide and transferred it to the test tube.

Adding the other ingredients…

Voila! We made GLOW!!

The Science of Spying

We visited the Museum of Nature and Science in Dallas to check out their Science of Spying exhibit. Nicholas loves playing spy games so this was a fun treat for him…but I must admit that Mommy, Daddy, and even Rachel had fun too.

A spy must be coordinated and careful. Nicholas got to test his abilities at removing a single stick of dynamite from a bundle without letting it touch the other sticks around it. If it touches the others then **BOOM!**

What creative ways can a spy learn something about another person? How about checking out their trash can for 3 weeks? Although it is a dirty project, just imagine how much you could learn about a person if you studied them like this. Fortunately, this station wasn’t messy but Nicholas got to dig through Mr. Grant’s trash can to determine the answers to some questions. Here he is holding a discarded parking pass to a golf country club which lists the date, time and vehicle info. Nicholas uses this to answer the question about what Mr. Grant did that day. Did he attend a golf tournament, nanotechnology conference or get Chinese takeout?

Although spies are always studying other people, they also have to be careful not to be seen themselves. This station has a video screen showing you in a crowded city block and you have to mark the possible people or cameras that could be watching you. Nicholas did well but missed a few potential danger zones.

Spies must be able to tell when people are telling them the truth and when they are lying. This station taught us a little about lie detection. We each had a screen that prompted us with what to say. Nicholas asked questions of me and then had to determine if I was telling the truth or a lie.

We saw hidden messages through special glass. Here we thought is was just a pretty picture of some red roses and green leaves but when we moved the special glass over one of the roses, we saw an outline of a pen. Cool!

Next we entered the spy technology section. There are some keys from a giant computer keyboard scattered throughout this room. Nicholas discovered that they light up when you sit on them. I was thrilled to see an N and an R right next to each other so Nicholas and Rachel could pose together for a picture!

Rachel loved sitting on the keys and listening to the sound of her feet kicking the sides. That was really the only way to make her key light up since her weight is too light to register that she was sitting on it.

At this station we had to quickly press the coordinating buttons to unlock the access port. But hurry! You don’t have much time!

We got to look through peep holes and experience periscope technology in which you look through a hole in one part of the wall but you see an image that is 10 feet to the right of where you are looking.

And we used one-way mirrors to spy on Daddy. Notice that Nicholas has turned on the light to illuminate his face for Daddy to see.

This station had a tool that you run over the wire form without touching it. Mommy had trouble with it but it was nearly impossible to succeed with the little guy bumping my hand each time! Maybe he’s a double agent?

In the Future Lab, we saw cool gadgets like cameras in baby doll eyes.

And a scanner that could detect the presence of a person by recognizing the outline of a body. This was lots of fun as we each tried to walk through it in funny ways to make different silhouettes of our bodies in hopes of trying to outsmart the scanner.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! We had fun and learned some cool things about spying with some fun interactive exhibits. We definitely recommend checking out the Science of Spying because it’s only here until January 4, 2010!

Fun New Year’s Eve Customizable Printables – free offer!

Whether you are planning a NYE party or a quiet evening with your family at home (did I just imply that I could achieve a quiet evening at home?), this is something you might want to check out.

They are holiday printables - games and activities – that can be customized and printed at home.

There are a bunch of New Year’s Eve sheets that can be printed at the last minute (not that I would ever need that) in any number that you desire.

A to Z has a special deal for Burb Mom readers – they are offering the first 10 who mention Burb Mom and respond via phone to their customer service line (888-722-0306) a free game of their choice from any of the A to Z sites.

Thanks A to Z!

Warm Fuzzies

I never considered myself as quirky, but now that I think about it, I guess I do have a few quirks.  One of them is that I love a good kids movie.  There’s something magical about them, and they fill me with warm fuzzies.  Make it a dark and blustery day, throw in a cold front and/or storm, give me slippers and a cozy quilt, a mug of hot tea (or better yet a pumpkin spice latte) and I’m in H. E. A. V. E. N., heaven.

Harry Potter movies still top my list.  They’re like comfort food for me.  There’s something about the world JK Rowling created that truly is…well… magical.  Literally.  And figuratively.  Getting lost in Hogwarts with Harry, Hermione, and Ron makes me happy.

Same with Pirates of the Caribbean.  Love Johnny Depp in most everything, but really love him in this movie.  Love Geoffrey Rush.  Love the whole pirate code, er, guidelines.  Again…happy.

Holiday movies?  CAN’T WAIT!!!  Ushering in the season with Peanuts is essential.  Miracle on 34th Street (love the original and the remake–I’m not a purist and I’m not ashamed to admit it–except when it comes to the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  Accept no substitute) is a favorite.  It’s a Wonderful Life?  One of the most perfect movies ever made.  Patrick Stewart’s A Christmas Carol… so atmospheric, and he’s so adorable that I can’t wait to watch it.

Modern classics?  The Santa Clause with Tim Allen… as good as warm cookies straight from the oven.  My son played Santa Claus just like the boy in the movie.  It spoke to him and so I will always love this movie.  It’s magical.

Andthe stop motion shows from my childhood~Santa Claus is coming to Town, The Year Without a Santa Claus, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and The Little Drummer Boy are classics that we have to watch in our household.  The season isn’t complete without them.

I get the same warm fuzzy feeling when I settle in with a good book.  I’m currently reading The Help.

LOVE IT.  Can’t wait to get back to it.  These are people I wish I knew.  I feel like I DO know them.  I want them to be real.  I’m rooting for them, holding my breath as their lives unfold before my eyes, and I can’t wait to turn the page, start the next chapter, find out what happens next.  I will be so sad when the book ends.  That is a sign of a really great story.

So, what gives you warm fuzzies?  Is there a book or a movie that holds that magic for you?

Relax with Burb Mom

A few months ago I met an amazing Massage Therapist, Tina Kounalis, here in Flower Mound. She is from Boulder, CO and has been practicing alternative medicine over ten years. Tina is wonderfully thorough with her clients & I don’t think I could have left her office more relaxed.

Here is a little bit of Tina’s background:  she studied at Healings Spirits Massage School and her background includes Aromatherapy, Nutrition and Exercise Science. Her modalities are deep tissue, shiatsu, Swedish, Reflexology, prenatal and hot stones.  Treatments are specifically designed for each individuals needs.

Why get a Massage?
~To increase circulation, remove lactic acid and allow new energy and nutrients
to flow through the body and relieve unwanted tension.
~To relax so much you let go of stress and become energized and uplifted!
~Boost your immune system by getting rid of toxins in the tissues.
~Prevent injuries by having freely movable muscles, tendons, and joints.
~For an even deeper relaxation of the whole body core add hot stones it’s a
wonderful experience and very nurturing.
~Plants pure essential oils balance the mind and charkas to relieve tension,
stress and pain for a pure healing treatment.

SPECIAL OFFERS:
First-time visit one-hour treatment only $45.00
Or
Buy a massage gift for your loved one and get yours half off!
(Regular rate $65.00 an hour)

We are excited to offer one of our readers a FREE massage from Tina! All you have to do is leave a comment telling us why you need a massage! **One entry per person per day** Sorry, this drawing has closed. Our winner was Candace from Mama Mia – we can’t wait to hear how your massage was! Contact Tina (972-345-9181) & she will know who you are!

Give Tina a call and let her know the ladies at Burb Mom sent you!

Tina Marie Kounalis, LCMT
2628 Long Prairie Rd.
Flower Mound, TX, 75022
972-345-9181

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