Silence

I’ve been finding it difficult to write.  I don’t know why since a TON has been going on but I just don’t know how to put what I am thinking, what I am feeling, into words.  We traveled to the US for Christmas and life has been crazy since.  We were stuck in snow in NYC, had a scare thinking that our son might need hearing aides (he doesn’t), lost a passport (and a stuffed monkey), and then my grandmother passed away (she lived a long, full life).

A week after returning home to Nigeria in January the city in which we live experienced a week of fighting.  Tensions had been high for a long time and on January 17^th the “ice broke” …in parts of town people were shooting their neighbors and burning down houses.  The crisis broke out due to political, religious and tribal differences.  We stayed “locked” in our compound for almost a week, safe but uncertain of what was going on around us.  While we are so thankful God protected us during a tumultuous time, we grieve for our neighbors who lost family, homes and possessions.

Yesterday, February 20^th, my husband and I joined a group called Global Relief in taking some small relief to victims of the “Crisis of 2010”.  We assisted the group in sorting clothes and medicine and then delivering the clothes, medicine, food, blankets, and mosquito nets to 125 needy families from a neighborhood that has practically become a ghost town.

While it was devastating to see streets of houses burned and few people walking through once bustling streets, it was encouraging to hear the hope in the voices and the faith that so many had.  How would I deal with such a situation?  I can only hope that I would forgive and begin to rebuild my life as many of these people are doing.

The group we served yesterday is just a small number of the many who have been displaced and who have lost loved ones.  Plus, there is still tension and unrest in many parts of town.

We continue to pray for peace in our city and for forgiveness and calm.  I would ask you to pray with us for the city of Jos, Nigeria.  Thank you.

Dinner Adventures in Nigeria

When we first moved to Nigeria we did not have a cook so here is a sampling of what cooking was like then:

No electricity?  No running water?  And I have to cook dinner?  No problem…

I have been struggling with cooking anything but eggs since we arrived.  The oven and stove are gas, the knives are dull and the tools are NOT the Pampered Chef variety I am accustomed to (why didn’t I bring some?)  The cooking I have done has not looked very pleasant, but it has tasted good, so I guess that is a plus.  But today I rose to the challenge.

My sister-in-law Ann took me shopping this morning (Wednesday April 8).  We had such a nice time meandering the market (ok…more like dodging motorcycles, maneuvering through puddles, and avoiding running into people) but we had a nice chat at lunch and she showed me many places.  Thank you Ann!

This afternoon while Toby was away at Volleyball practice (he and his brother, Kyle, are coaching the J.V. team at the local MK school) I returned home to begin dinner.  The electricity was off, which is nothing new, but imagine my dismay when there was no running water!  This also meant we had no working toilet.  So, I called a neighbor, who called a neighbor, and he came over to figure out what the problem was.   While he was sorting it all out I was in the kitchen deciding what to do for dinner.  I had planned on meatloaf and mashed potatoes with a nice green salad.  But for this dish I needed water.

Fortunately we had enough filtered water for me to use some for the potatoes and I had soaked and rinsed the salad vegi’s earlier this afternoon, so those items were feasible.  But with the water issue I had lost precious time and meatloaf takes a while to cook.  So, I decided to make meatballs (which I have never done before).  I had bought some fresh basil in the market so I thought Italian meatballs sounded like a good idea.

The meal was delicious…Toby especially enjoyed the meatballs.  In fact, he is looking forward to meatball sandwiches tomorrow night!  So, without water or electricity I was able to cook a lovely meal of Italian meatballs, garlic mashed potatoes, garlic bread and salad…with pineapple for dessert.  It was such an accomplishment that I had to share with you all.  Wish you had been here to enjoy the meal!

P.S.:  Much of this cooking was done with a hungry, crying boy running around wanting to be held.  Just after I stopped for a “dance break” with Caden a neighbor walked in to check on the water…she had a good laugh at our dancing.  The water problem?  Our tank was clogged.  Two of the men on the compound were able to get it going again just in time for Toby to wash the dishes.  Praise God!

I drive a Van

I drive a van.  Not a mini-van, but a 12 passenger-gear shift on the floor-no power steering-engine under the driver-feels like I’m driving a bus-VAN.  I never wanted to drive a van (not even a frills-included mini-van).  In fact, it wasn’t until I HAD to drive this large van that I started driving it.

And I like it.

Really.

Driving in Nigeria is NOTHING like driving in America.  We have one stop-light in our city of half a million people.  Instead of stoplights, there are police officers who stand at major intersections directing traffic (this due mostly to the fact that electricity is not always on).

The main form of transportation for most people is on the back of a motorcycle…and they are EVERYWHERE!  One friend says that they are like bees…they swarm together but disappear when it rains.  In fact, you will see groups of drivers huddled into small stores and under covered areas to wait for the rain to pass.  The motorcycle drivers usually swerve in and out of traffic, cut people off, and come so close to cars that you think they will hit.  But, they can be helpful.  My husband uses them as linemen because they block traffic at times when you are turning left.

The roads in Nigeria are not paved like the ones in North Texas.  Some do have pavement on them, but it’s so very thin which makes them prone to holes…lots of holes.  Sometimes we feel like we are skiing on moguls, swerving around the potholes.  The taxi drivers know the holes so well that they look like they are dancing around the road.

Turning in Nigeria is not very organized.  People turn in front of you, behind you, around you, and often turn down the wrong side of the road.  In fact, it is very common for motorcycles and even cars to travel down the wrong side of the road.

People also provide an obstacle while driving as they are everywhere!  Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa (almost twice the size of Kenya which is the next largest). Once you travel on the roads here, you believe that figure (and we don’t even live in the most populous region!).  There are people everywhere!  And if there is no one to be seen, there will be a path that leads to somewhere.  It’s amazing.

There are some rules to driving here, and the more I drive, the more I learn.  The traffic guys have signals to tell you when to stop, go and turn.  They hold up one finger to let cars know who will be the last one to go through the intersection before everyone needs to stop.  We honk our horns a lot- we use them to warn people that we are passing, that we are turning, or to let someone know that they are in your way.  Horns are used more that signal lights here.  You can’t talk on your cell phone while driving…it will cost you N4000 if you do and get caught ($26) and they take your license!  There are “Road Safety Patrols” who scatter themselves throughout the city.  They randomly stop cars to check for papers (called “particulars”) and fire extinguishers.  If you don’t have them, you pay a fine.

I don’t drive at night unless I have to.  Since electricity is not reliable there are very few street lights.  It gets very dark without street lights.  Plus, some people don’t turn their lights on fully and those who do usually have their brights on!  Also, people who are walking don’t always wear light colored clothing, making it very difficult to see them.  So, my husband usually has to drive at night, but he doesn’t like to drive across town.  When people travel out of town they try very hard to get to their destination before dark!

So, I drive a big white van.  I also drive a small blue one and a Toyota Camry.  But I like to drive the van.  I like being big and high enough to see all the potholes.  I just don’t like to park it!

Caden’s 2nd Birthday

[This is written by me but it is supposed to represent Caden’s perspective.  We started the day at a retreat in Miango.]

Today is my 2^nd birthday- I don’t know what that means, but everyone kept wishing me a “Happy Birthday” so it must be a good thing!

6:30        I am awake.  I’m not in my own bed so I cry out for my mommy.  Here she comes…yeah!  Wait, she takes me in to their room (it’s not their normal room either).  She puts me on their bed.  Daddy and Mommy want to sleep longer but not me, I am ready to play!

6:45        Mommy changes my pants…they are very wet so I am glad for dry ones.  Then she gives me my juice…I love having juice in the morning!!

7:00        I am playing with my cars and motorcycle.  I want to go outside but mommy and daddy won’t let me…they are so mean sometimes…they just want to stay in and do things.  They keep putting all my things in bags.

7:30        We finally go outside!!  A guy comes out of the door next to ours and sings me a song…it’s that “Happy Birthday” phrase.  It’s a nice song but I just want to run!  I run over to Noah’s room.  He is outside with a box of army men.  We take handfuls of army men and put them on the porch.  I like to pick different colors of army men out of the box.

8:00        We take a long walk.  At some point Daddy picks me up…I guess I am walking too slow.  But there are so many things to see and do: red rocks to pick up, trees to look at, catapillars to find…how can they expect me not to stop along the way.

8:05        We are in the big room where we eat but I just want to be outside!  Let me go out please!  I try to sneak away but Daddy catches me.

8:15        Oh…I am hungry…I am eating…eggs!  I love eggs!  Mommy also gives me some toast but I don’t want it so I throw it on her plate.

8:30        I give mommy my plate.  I am done eating.  I want down NOW…did you hear me?  I want to get down NOW so I can play!

9:00        We are back in our room.  Mommy and Daddy are still putting things into bags and then taking the bags to the car.  I just want to be outside.  Please, won’t someone let me go outside?  I try to sneak out the door but mommy makes it so it won’t open.  Oh, just let me out!

10:00     Mommy takes me back to the big room where we eat but no one is there.  So, we go OUTSIDE!  Yeah!  Oh no, mommy leaves me with a lady who I’ve been with a few times this weekend.  Don’t go Mom!  Mom, don’t go.  If I cry, maybe they’ll take me to her.

10:15     Sure enough, the crying works and I am now with Daddy and Mommy.  People are singing.  I don’t want to sing, I just want to play.  Mommy leaves but I’m with Daddy so all is good.

10:20     Juice!!  Crackers!!  I can handle this…my car, my motorcycle…life is good!

10:30     Won’t someone let me go so I can walk around?  Oh, this is good, I can go upstairs!  No, there is a man blocking the way.  I just want to go upstairs.

10:45     I’ve had enough.  If I’m loud they will take me outside.  Mom, Mom, Mom, I want to go outside!  Dad gets up, here we go!  I win, I win, I win!

11:00     Oh…one of the big kids left their bike outside…I want to ride it.  No, daddy says “no”…but I want to …waaaaahhhhh, I cry. But this time it doesn’t work!

12:00     We are back in the big room where we eat and I am hungry.  Feed me!  Mommy gets me chicken but mine isn’t too good.  Her’s looks better.  Can I sit in your lap, mom?  Thanks…your chicken is better!  Yum!

1:00        We are outside again!  Yeah!!  But they want me to walk faster…I just want to play.  The big kids are playing ball…can’t I join them?

1:45        I climb into the car to get in my seat.

1:50        Oh…I’m tired…. [asleep]

3:30        I’m awake and ready to get out of the car.  Oh, I see our gate…yeah, we are home!  Where is Stephanie?  There she is!  Where are the boys?  I am ready to play, play, play.

4:00        Mommy is in the kitchen doing something and daddy is in the living room doing something…they are both too busy for me.  Daddy…Daddy…play with me.  What’s this, he wants me to take something to mommy?  I can do that?  More daddy, give me more to take!  A book, a piece of cardboard, another book, what else can I take her?

4:15        I’m hungry.  There are chips in that bowl up there…can I reach it?  Yes!  Mommy didn’t see me…I’m going to take this bowl with me.  I made it all the way to our apartment!  Let’s see, can I open it?  I’m trying… oops!  All the chips just fell out of the bowl and onto the floor.  Oh…if I step on them they make a fun sound…crunch, crunch, crunch!

4:17        Daddy figures out what I am doing…he wants me to clean it up but I just want to play.  Hey, wait a minute, where are we going? It’s not fair that they can just pick me up and move me whenever they want!  My room?  I don’t want to be in my room!

4:20        O.K.  I’ll clean up the chips…just let me out!  Thanks, dad.

5:30        Outside!  We are outside!  David, Stephanie and I are walking around in the backyard.  Look at all the flowers.  They smell so good!  Oh, there is a board up there I can pick up….I’ll run up the hill and get it.  Look at this piece of wood…it’s like a sword…I’m going to get Hansol with it.  I love being outside.

5:45        I climb into the van to get into my seat.  Where are we going?

6:00        We get out of the car and go into a place where we sometime eat.  I get to sit in a really tall chair here.  But I don’t want to be in the chair.  I am hungry…won’t someone feed me?

6:30        Finally, some food!  I stuff French fries and fish in my mouth…yum!  How much can I get into my mouth?

7:30        We are back at home and my friend Noah has come over, as well as his brother, sisters, mom and dad.  A few other people are here too.  Mom sits me in my chair and gives me all these things wrapped in pretty paper!  They put a box with on the table…wait, MeeMaw and PawPaw!  I can see them…and they are talking to me and smiling.  How cool is that!

7:45        Mom brings this colorful, yummy looking cake over.  Then she uses this stick to put a flickering light on another stick.  I try to touch the light…ouch, that’s  hot!  My friends all gather and they sing that song again.  Then, they tell me to blow but I don’t know what they mean.  All of sudden I feel everyone around me blowing and the hot flicker is gone.  Finally, they cut me a piece of the cake and I stuff it in my mouth!  Yum!!!

8:30        I am so tired.  Finally I get to crawl into my bed and sleep.

Bride Price

Two weeks after moving to Nigeria, I had the opportunity to be a mentor at a purity conference with a Nigerian “youth group”…the youth were between the ages of 18-28.  This was the third day of the conference and in the morning we only had about 10 attendees…but by lunch our number had grown to over 30.  It was a great experience for me and I really enjoyed getting to know a handful of Nigerians.

As you would expect at a purity conference, we spoke about sex before marriage, God’s guidelines, HIV/AIDS, and came up with ways to resist temptation.  The young people (which seems odd for me to say since they weren’t that much younger than me) had many great ideas and many of them seemed to have a true, growing relationship with Christ.  While we helped them to look at scripture and biblical ideals for dating and marriage, they taught me more about Nigerian culture.

A custom that I learned more about was the tradition of a fiancé paying a dowry or bride price.  Since this is not a widely practiced tradition in the west I was very interested to learn how it works.  Well, it varies by tribe.  Some tribes have a set price, such as 10,000 naira (about $66).  Others say one year salary. Most have a combination of money and gifts, for example, one girl mentioned that when she marries her fiancé will need to give a bag of salt to each woman in her family.  The person responsible for setting and collecting the bride price varies among tribes as well.  In some tribes the father of the bride sets and collects the price, but in many tribes all the men in the family set the price and the gifts are divided among the entire family.  It was quite interesting.  I really wanted to ask the girls how the bride price makes them feel but I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers.  Also, in Nigeria the man, not the woman, pays for and plans the wedding!

One topic we discussed, which greatly surprised me, was “what they should do when their parents are pressuring them to have sex before marriage”.  Yes, you read that correctly.  You see, in some tribes the girl must show that she can get pregnant before her fiancé will marry her!  As westerners it was very hard for us to know exactly what to say to this as this is a cultural tradition, not a church tradition.  So we let them discuss this and they all agreed that the right thing for a believer to do would be to abstain and convince her parents that God has a better way.

An interesting part of the day was that half of the conference took place in the dark.  You see, the electricity went off after about an hour so and the room we met in had very few windows…plus it began to rain!!  We were all excited for the rain as they have just had 7 months without rain and it has been very hot here.  So, yesterday was a very exciting day for me.

Squares, Circles and Triangles

“If a Fulani man tells you something is just up the road, you better pack an extra pair of shoes  because you will wear your first pair out walking.”

In July we travelled North to see the city of Kano.  Here is the story:

On Sunday we loaded up our car and headed North- to Kano.  Kano is the oldest city in West Africa and the 2nd largest city in Nigeria.  The state it is in- also called Kano- is a Muslim state and ruled by Sharia Law.  Only about 1 percent of the population is Christian.  We had heard about Kano before coming to Nigeria and were excited to go up and visit, to see if it might be a possible future location for us to do ministry in.  There are two main people groups in Kano- the Hausa and the Fulani.  Traditionally, Fulani are nomadic cattle ranchers and farmer.

Our friend and language teacher, Abdullahi, is Fulani.  His father was forced to flee his village when he converted to Christianity.  His father is now a missionary, working among the Fulani of Northern Nigeria and Niger.  Abdullahi and his wife, Bamyil, accompanied us for our trip, as did our friends, the Camiolas. The plan was for Abdullahi to take us to visit his mother’s village while we were in Kano.

So, Sunday morning we headed out….our car filled with luggage and coolers- so that we could bring back cheese and butter as it’s much cheaper in Kano. We were told it is better to travel on a weekend day as there are not as many road blocks…well, we counted 20 on our way!  Fortunately, most were military road blocks put there to prevent highway robbery, so they did not stop us.  It took about 4 ½  hours to arrive in Kano.  We first went to the guesthouse to check in and then the plan was to have lunch at Pizza Hott, the local pizza place (every time a Nigerian spoke of it we thought they were saying Pizza Hut!).

Abdullahi is not too familiar with Kano so he got directions from a friend.  Well, needless to say, we got way lost!  We made a square around the downtown market area numerous times.  Finally I spoke with Mary, the missionary there, and she directed us down the correct route.  Once there the pizza was worth waiting for!  They brought out circles of dough covered in sauce and most importantly, mounds of cheese!  It was the best pizza we’ve had in Nigeria.

After pizza we decided to go to the fabric market and see about buying some fabric.  A lot of the fabric in Nigeria is made in Kano, so it is cheaper to buy it there.  Well, the fabric market is 10 times the size of the one in Jos and it was so overwhelming!  The hour we had to shop was not enough to make a decision as to what to buy.

By the time we finished with the shopping we were all so tired that we just went back to our “hotels” to sleep!  This was the first time for Caden to sleep in a big-boy bed that is not his own.  The experience started out ok but he woke up at 1:30 and would not go back to sleep.  He and I were up until 4:30!  Needless to say I was a bit grumpy the next morning.

So, Monday morning the plan was to drive to the Fulani village where Abdullahi is from.  We headed out for what was to be an hour journey.  We brought  a bag of granola and a few bottles of water to have for a snack.  The drive was pleasant enough, we were seeing many villages along the road and the buildings in the villages were different from the ones in our state.  Our conversation was good and we were all excited to be going to the village. Then our friend had us stop to ask about the directions.  After stopping he seemed to thing we were going in the right direction so we kept going.  2 hours later we ended up in Duce, the capital of the new state of Jigawa…nowhere near our friend’s village!  The option was to drive the 2 hours back to Kano or 2 more hours to the village (which would leave us an hour away from Kano).  We decided to continue to the village.  Well, 2 hours and many stops for direction later we found out that we were still over an hour from the village.  By this time the 5 kids with us (as well as us adults) were tired, hungry, and in need of a restroom!  So, we decided to head on back to Kano without seeing the village.  Apparently, Abdullahi’s friend who gave us direction misunderstood where we wanted to go, so after 5 hours of driving we did a triangle that took us from Kano, through Jigawa state, and back.  We did see a lot of interesting landscape and many villages and towns.

After grabbing a bite to eat and resting a bit, our Nigerian friends decided to go to the village in a taxi, since their family was disappointed not to see them.  We had made arrangements for Mary to show us the ministries SIM is involved with in Kano.  There used to be quite a large SIM presence in Kano but years ago there were some problem, so SIM left Kano, leaving the Nigerian denomination, ECWA in charge of the ministries.  Now, it is safe to live in Kano again, so there are 3 families and 2 singles who will be involved (at the moment all but Mary were on Home Assignment).  Mary explained that since the Nigerians are better suited to do ministry in that region, SIM’s strategy is to support the church and help with training and equipping.  She showed us a resource center and library run by SIM, a sewing ministry, and 2 ECWA hostels that board children whose parents are missionaries and children who live in villages but whose parents want them educated in the city.  Unfortunately, there is not adequate funding for these hostels and they are in poor condition.  Plus, there isn’t money to pay for enough staff- each hostel has one house parent that is there on a part-time basis…and all together the 3 buildings (one for girls, two for boys) houses over 200 students!  Mary is working on raising the funds to dig a bore-hole to provide water for the boys’ houses and their neighborhood.  At the moment the boys walk 10 minutes to get water.

Once our tour was over we returned home to rest before heading out to dinner as the restaurant we were going to did not open until 7.  Well, when it was time to leave, I locked us out of the house!  This delayed us as we had to find the landlady to let us back in!  Once we got that sorted out, Mary took us to a beautiful Chinese restaurant.  When we walked in, we all said, “We’re not in Nigeria anymore!”  There were 12 of us all together so they put us in the VIP room.  This worked great as the kids were getting tired and there was room for them to run around.  Plus, we didn’t bother the other diners!  We ordered a ton of food and ate almost every bit of it.  It was so good!  Plus, it was really nice to be out at night.  We don’t go out at night much in Jos since there is not much to do.

Tuesday morning we got up and packed, changed a tire with a bent rim, took the tire to be repaired, then headed to do a little more shopping and site-seeing.  We bought some fabric to cover a few sofa cushions, then headed to the dye-pits to see how they dye fabric.  That was interesting.  They have these deep wells that they fill with water and natural ingredients to make dye.  Right now they are dying things blue.  They use indigo flowers, potassium, and ash from a fire to make the dye.  The large vats of dye are used for one year!  They dye fabric that is bought with patterns in it, and they also do beautiful tie-dye.  We walked through a neighborhood to see the woman who tied the knots for the tie-dye.  It is not an easy job.

Kano is a large city and the traffic is awful , so by the time we were done with the Dye=pit, it was time to have lunch and prepare to leave.  So, we headed back to Pizza Hott for another round of the delicious pizza before leaving Kano.  We had planned to depart by 2:00 but due to some miscommunication we did not get on the road until after 3:00…not good as the roads are not great to drive on after dark.

The positive about traveling at night as there are not as many road blocks.  However, we didn’t get to the worst part of the road until after dark and it was raining.  We hit a huge pot-hole and…click-click-click…the rim of a tire was bent and the tire was flat!  So, not only was it after dark and raining, but now we had to drive even slower as we don’t yet have a full-sized spare!  We arrived home very grateful to be here at 8:30 PM!

Although our journey to Kano was full of wrong turns, long car rides, dust, heat, trash (the city is very dirty), flat tires, and frustration, we did come home with some great pictures, cheese, butter, and lots of memories!  Plus, we now appreciate our “small” city of Jos so much more

Strawberry Day

About a month after we moved to Nigeria I bought a large box of strawberries…I think it was about 4 kilos (almost 9 pounds)…here is what happened the day I decided to do something with them:

5:45        Wide awake.  I would rather be sleeping but I get up and get laundry going.  Caden is awake so I let him get up early.  Before breakfast I make a pie crust to use later.

7:00        We enjoy a light breakfast of muffins and homemade strawberry yogurt.

8:20        Toby heads to a meeting.  Caden and I go for a walk.  I decided to carry him Nigerian style, on my back.  So, I get him on there and tie 2 cloths around us both.  Then I went next door to have the hostel cook check and make sure I had done it right.  This was my first time to “back” him alone and I did it well.  We walked down the street to our neighborhood “container store”.  This is a small shop that is made from a shipping container.  They are very popular here.  I was looking for beans but came back with tuna and Indo-Mi (ramen noodles)…no beans.  I borrow beans from a neighbor instead.

9:00        We get home.  Caden is tired so he asks to go to bed.  He even seems to say “help me” when standing by his bed waiting for me to lift him into it.  He is sleeping in a borrowed pack-n-play for now.  We have bought him a toddler bed of sorts to use when we move into the hostel.  We still need to buy a mattress for it.

9:15        Start 2^nd rinse cycle for diapers.  Then I begin cleaning and sorting strawberries.  I was talked into buying a very large box of berries the day before. “You can freeze them or make jam,” the lady selling them told me.  So, I decided I would try to make jam.  As I clean, I separate the berries into 4 bowls:  one bowl for the firmest berries to freeze, one for the mushy ones to make jam, one for the in-between ones to use in a pie, and a bowl for the ones I think are not good, as well as for the stems.  I also put the beans on to cook.  My neighbor gave me some “pot ash” and promises a pinch added to the beans will speed up the cooking process.  No, I did not soak them overnight…no time, I need them for dinner…I’ll do quicker method where after boiling them awhile I dump the water out and add fresh water.

11:40     Caden wakes up.  I have just finished cleaning and sorting the berries so I make us some Indo-Mi for lunch.

12:30     Toby gets home just in time to join us for lunch.

1:00        I start the pie filling.  It calls for between 5-6 cups of strawberries plus crushed berries for juice.  Yum.  After getting the pie done I put it in the fridge to set and begin my jam.  I’ve never made jam before so this is an experiment.  I have a recipe that is called “quick strawberry jam” and it uses a box of strawberry jello.  Well, my mom just sent me a box of strawberry jello so I thought I would try this recipe.

2:30        The jam is still cooking…so much for quick.  It finally seems like it may be getting thicker.  I give up and decide we’ll have strawberry syrup instead, so I fill the jars…ok, I fill 1 ½ jars!  That’s it!  All that work for 1 ½ jars of strawberry syrup….needless to say I was disappointed.  I turn the beans off (they are finally done) and head outside to play with Caden.

3:00        Caden is having so much fun!  There are some rocks on one side of the basketball court in the center of our compound- he loves to climb on and off the rocks.  Toby texts me to say that he is finished with his meeting.  (I have to pick him up because we did not have a vehicle when he went so a neighbor dropped him off- we are still sharing a van with the hostel as we await the arrival of our car from Benin).

3:30        I am lost!  And it is raining!  I have not driven to Gidan Bege yet (the place where Toby’s meeting was).  Somehow I end up downtown on the BUSIEST STREET IN JOS!!!!  Kai! (that means Yikes!).  I am just praying to find my way.

3:45        I found Toby!!!!  He was waiting for me on a corner…he had seen me take the wrong turn earlier.  I climb out of driver seat to let him drive.  I tell him that I need to practice driving to Gidan Bege and a few places with him in the car- soon!

4:15        On the way home we stopped at a few places to pick up a few items:  lettuce, ice cream (to go with the pie), and a new toilet seat.  We arrive home and watch an episode of the Office before getting ready for dinner.

5:45        Toby and Caden take off to pick up Dustin, a guy who arrived from Austin, TX last week to work with City Ministries.  While they are gone, I finish up dinner:  soft taco’s with meat, beans, rice, salsa, corn and bean salad, and guac…and of course cheese (which is REALLY expensive here but o so worth it!).  I place a bowl of tortilla chips and salsa on the table.

6:15        They arrive for dinner.  Dustin walks in, sees the chips, smells the taco meat and gets a HUGE grin on his face.  I figured after being in Nigeria for a week he would be ready for a little taste of home.  The meal was a hit.  Plus, it was fun to have a guest.

7:45        Toby and Dustin head out and I put Caden to bed.  When Toby gets back we clean the dishes.  He says it feels like the weekend.  I said that it’s because at home we only had people over on the weekend- I like having people come for dinner during the week.

8:45        I fall asleep on the couch watching an episode of the Closer on DVD.

9:15        We head to bed.

PS:  What about the pie?  Did I forget the pie? Nope…but it wasn’t really a pie.  It didn’t set right.  We ate it anyhow and it tasted good.  I won’t do a strawberry pie on my own again.  I’ve made it twice in my life and both times it did not set.

Ant Bite Cake

The first week that we lived in the hostel, our cook, Hanatu, made us the most delicious and moist chocolate cake!   Hanatu has cooked at the hostel for 17 years and she does a wonderful job. Anyhow, we had guests over for dinner and we all enjoyed the cake.

After they left I put foil on the cake and left it on the counter.

Thursday morning when I went into the kitchen there were ants crawling all over the cake!!!!

Oh, imagine my disappointment!! Plus, I felt awful that I had ruined Hanatu’s delicious cake. Why didn’t I put it in the refrigerator? So when Hanatu arrived I greeted her and apologized for ruining the cake. She said no problem, that she would put the cake in the oven, heat it up and the ants would flee, making the cake edible again.

OK…I’m sure that your first thought is “Alycia, don’t tell me you ate the cake after ants had been all over it…gross…just throw it out.” Well, I am happy to say that all the ants departed the cake and we ate it…every last bit. I was assured by my sister-in-law (who has lived here for 9 years) that it was perfectly safe. We even invited our neighbors over to enjoy the cake with us and their kids loved it…especially with a glass of powdered milk (fresh milk is very expensive here so we used powdered milk most of the time). We did let them know about the ants, but they didn’t mind.

So, I’ve been calling it ant bite cake…a little crunchy but still so good (ok… JK about the crunchy part).

Stopping to Smell the Roses

When you think of Africa, do you think of rose gardens?

I didn’t either.  Nigeria has 2 seasons: wet and dry.  We arrived in Nigeria at the end of the dry season.  The ground was brown, the trees were brown, everything was brown…and it was so hot that we almost got on a plane back to America!  Fortunately, we stuck it out and 2 months after the rain began.  Rain brings many things:  cooler weather, green grass and trees, fruit on trees, and at our house, ROSES!  We have a ton of rose bushes and they continually bloom throughout the rainy season…which, unfortunately, is coming to a close.

Our two year old, Caden, loves to play outside.  He is outside for hours (always with supervision).  He enjoys swinging, running, kicking balls, riding his bike, visiting our goats, chasing the dog and yes, smelling flowers.  Sometimes he will even bring me one!  Well, today he stood at one rose for 5 minutes putting it up to his face and sniffing it, then looking up with a grin, enticing me to come over and sniff with him.  I finally cut 2 of them off for him so he could wander around with them.

He would smell the flowers, look up and giggle.  He turned them into swords to fight his imaginary dragons.  Then, after minutes of admiring and enjoying the flowers, he reminded me that he is a toddler by pulling the petals off one at a time while he laughed hysterically!

So, while we enjoyed mangoes in April, and look forward to grapefruit and pomegranates in December, I have enjoyed the roses for 5 months, and Caden is learning to “stop and smell the roses”.

Burb Mom in Africa

Wednesday, April 1-  My first real “stay-at-home” mom day

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7:00 Wednesday morning started out normal enough- ok, not really.  I awoke to find that Caden’s diaper had not been able to contain what he put in the diaper and it was all over him and the sheet on his bed.  He has been suffering from a bout of diarrhea since Monday evening, so I had even put him in a Huggies overnight rather than a cloth diaper. We’ve been using cloth since we got here and especially lately as the heat has caused diaper rash.  Tuesday he leaked out of his diapers many times (even at a neighbor’s house after dinner) so this was not a surprise.  However, since he wasn’t any better Toby and I decided that I would take him to see the pediatrician (an American missionary).

7:30 I fixed a simple breakfast of cereal and strawberry-banana yogurt (the yogurt that I had made from scratch the day before).  After breakfast I set out to wash the soiled cloth diapers…outside… by hand!  (There was no electricity so our washer would not work- the washer that takes 2-3 hours per load)

10:00 Jill, a missionary who lives on our compound, picked Caden and I up for our first visit to the pediatrician.  The Dr. works in the pediatric ward at the hospital run by the local church denomination that SIM works with.  We drove to the hospital (which is so very different in so many ways from our hospitals- especially our suburban, pristine hospitals- that I won’t even try to fully describe it here).  We first went into the “private clinic” area to pre-pay for our visit and collect an ID card for Caden.  I will need to take this card, as well as his “chart” (also a card) each time we go.  The “private clinic” was full…mostly families with babies and young children.

10:30 After signing in we proceeded to the pediatric ward and knocked on the locked door to be let in.  Once inside, Caden played with toys in the “play area” while we waited to see the Dr.  When it was our turn we went in.  Caden wasn’t weighed, his temperature was not checked…the Dr. simply talked to us for a while, asked why we came, looked at a soiled diaper, then said, “well, it’s common here.  He either picked up a bug on the plane or is simply adjusting to Nigeria.  Take him home, have him drink a lot, and call me if it gets worse or is not better in 5 days.”  ‘5 days’, I thought, ‘I have to keep cleaning yucky cloth diapers for 5 days!’

11:30 After the hospital visit we stopped in at another missionary’s house to talk with her and her house helper to see if we want her house helper to work for us once this family leaves in May.  The helper, Asabe, was great with Caden!  She is a grandmother and is very experienced in her job…so she will begin working for us on Fridays until the end of May when she can work for us each day.  (While we were gone Toby departed the house for a tour of City Ministries).

12:00 On the way home we stopped to look at a little bed to see if it would be the right height for Caden.  It is still a bit too tall so they are going to cut the legs off a little and make it shorter.  The floors here are concrete so there is not padding whatsoever if he were to fall out of bed.

12:30 Once we got home we had a light lunch then walked to a neighbor’s house to buy some flour from her.

1:00 I put Caden down for a nap and I did the dishes while soaking zucchini, green beans and a pineapple (we have to soak fruits and vegi’s in water with a little bleach, then we soak them in filtered water).

1:30 I started to make zucchini bread.  It wasn’t until after the bread was in the oven that I found the grater (so yes, I chopped all the zucchini into tiny pieces by hand).  Also, the recipe said to bake it for one hour but after 30 minutes it was over done…the joys of learning how to cook on a different oven- and a gas one at that.

3:00 Toby got home.  We did some more cleaning and then a neighbor stopped by to check on us and to chat a while.  I also started dinner while she was here.  Spaghetti sauce made with tomato paste, seasoning, water, ground beef and onions.

4:00 A man stopped by to talk with us about what kind of car we want to purchase.  Then Toby went outside to play basketball with his brother and some other men.  I continued to work on dinner…cut a pineapple and ¾ of it is bad so I put it into the compost pail.

6:00 Just before Toby gets back, I go to pour water out of spaghetti and end up pouring spaghetti into sink…I must redo spaghetti.

6:30 Dinner:  we have spaghetti with meat sauce and green beans.  For dessert we enjoy dry zucchini bread and pineapple.

7:30 We put Caden to bed, Toby cleans dishes while I pick up toys.

8:00 Toby and I sit down to watch whatever the neighbors are watching on cable…they are kind to let us use their line.

10:00 We head to bed.  The electricity has been on most of the afternoon which is great…our fan is working nicely.

10:30 Electricity goes off….

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Alycia moved from Plano to Nigeria on March 26.  She lives in Jos with her husband Toby and 2 year old son, Caden. Read more about their lives at  www.allyabts.blogspot.com and www.abtstranetwork.com.

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