Why You Shouldn’t Bully My Children

Aka: Someone called me a “bad***” and this is why:

There are a few things in this world that really make my blood boil. One of those things is bullying. I feel this way partly because I was bullied for almost all my years in elementary school. To this day I still remember the little girls that bullied me by name even though it’s been a good twenty years since I left that school. Although I no longer feel threatened by these girls, my heart still goes out to children who are teased, left out, and bullied.

Especially when bullying happens to my own children.

So you can bet how livid I was yesterday when an older kid slapped my Kindergartner in the face right in front of me after school.

My middle son, the Kindergartner, has always been sort of an awkward kid. He’s slightly immature for his age, but has come a long way since he first started school. My son is just now coming out of his shell and starting to make friends, but still sometimes he runs up to kids and yells something silly to child strangers which I am sure comes off as being weird to other kids.

Which is what happened yesterday afternoon.

Everything was going great after school. My middle son was giving me no problems walking to the crosswalk for the first time in two weeks. The crosswalk guard then told us it was time to cross the street. When we got out to the middle, my middle son ran up to an older kid (who happens to look like Dennis the Menace) and screams something unintelligible to the boy. Dennis the Menace then slaps my son in the face. My son just stared at him like what the heck just happened.

I don’t know what overcame me, but in almost a split second I grabbed Dennis the Menace by the backpack, turned him around in the middle of the street, raised my hand, and came this close to slapping the little brat across his own face. In fact, the only thing that kept me from slapping him was that he flinched as he watched my hand get two inches from his face. So I asked Dennis,

“What the heck just happened? Why did you just slap him?” (We were now on the sidewalk on the other side of the street.)

He replies, “I don’t know…um…he cussed at me.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well you live on *** Street, right?” (I’m still holding onto his backpack; I’m not letting him go anywhere.)

“Yah…”

“Well, let’s go. We’re going to your house and telling your dad that you just slapped my kid.”

By now my blood is beginning to cool off. In fact, I didn’t even notice at that point that I was still grabbing the kid’s backpack while walking him over to his street. Once we got to his street, I let go of his backpack and I told him that the better thing for him to have done if he thought my kid was cussing at him was to tell me instead of hitting my kid. I told him that discipline is the parent’s responsibility and not his because he is a kid. I told him that under no circumstances should he ever hit another kid, especially not a younger, smaller kid.

Then I had him point his dad out who was sitting on his front porch waiting for his sons to get home. Dennis dragged his feet behind me.

Now to set the stage here: Dennis the Menace lives in the same 1970s neighborhood as me with large front yards and smaller backyards. His particular home has hardly any grass and the front yard is covered in children’s toys and bicycles. Dad is a much older man, probably somewhere in his late 60s. Before yesterday I even thought this older man was the grandpa. Dad is scruffy looking and very unkempt with a beer-belly stretching out like a ten month pregnant woman. Lucky me, at least he had a shirt on yesterday.

So, I tell dad what happened.

Dad turns to his boy and asks, “What did he say to you?”

Dennis the Menace says, “He called me an Effing A-Hole.” (Except he said the real words.)

Honestly, I still don’t think that’s what my kid said, but since I saw with my own eyes my kid say something to Dennis, I at least admitted that whatever my kid said that it was enough to upset the brat.

Then the dad thanked me for telling him what happened and that he would discipline his boy. I thanked him for listening and told him I’d do likewise. I then grabbed my three sons and told them it was time to walk home. We proceeded to walk off his front porch when the old man tries to bring up casual conversation with me:

“So, how old are your children?”

“Five, six, and seven,” I reply.

“Oh wow! You just popped out those kids…POP POP POP!!!”

And I’m telling you I came this close to slapping that old man across his face and calling him some choice words myself.

Jerkwad.

PS: For explanation of the above photo, please refer to Out of Context Morons.

Tips for Fun at the Lake

One of the best ways to beat the summer heat is to spend a day (or even a few hours) at one of our many local lakes in the DFW area with the kids and family or as a fun day out with friends. I have had the personal pleasure of visiting many of our lakes, and so far my favorites are Lewisville Lake at Lake Park and Grapevine Lake at Murrell Park just south of Flower Mound on the north shore of the lake.

During the summertime, I make it a special priority to get the kids out as much as I can so they can enjoy the water while it lasts. Murrell Park has become one of my personal favorites because of its easy access and free price tag. Although Murrell Park does not offer a playground like Lake Park does, it does offer quieter and more secluded surroundings as well as many hiking and biking trails in close proximity. Murrell park currently has tent and primitive camping, but is undergoing an expansion to increase camping facilities.

I’ve found the following tips helpful when planning a day out with young children:

1.) Wear sunscreen and bring extra, applying as directed. There is nothing worse than spending good quality time together just to be miserable afterward. Bring a hat and sunglasses for extra protection.

2.) Bring towels and wear old shoes you don’t mind wearing in the water and therefor getting wet.

3.) Bring a cooler with drinks, water, fruit, and premade sandwiches or other snacks to eat. Alcohol is prohibited at Lake Grapevine (check with other lakes on their rules).

4.) If you don’t mind carrying them, bring foldable lightweight chairs and a radio with batteries.

5.) Bring fun water toys such as pool noodles, water squirters, flotation devices.

6.) WEAR A LIFE JACKET! There are no lifeguards on duty and a drowning can happen in seconds!

7.) Don’t forget your fully charged camera!

You can also take these tips from my dog, Lily:

Gems Found on a Hike Through the Woods

How to Cube an Apple in One Minute

One of the most time consuming preparations in cooking can be the simple task of cubing fruits and vegetables.

Idealy, when cubing you want each cube to be similar in size and shape. I have tried various methods of cubing, however most have resulted in squished and loppy shaped food.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

When I was seventeen, I randomly flipped on the television station one hot summer afternoon. The only show playing at that time was a cooking program. On that show, the chef was preparing various foods for stir frying and I became intrigued at how quickly he seemed to slice his ingredients. That Asian chef was kind of frustrating me–until I figured out his secret by close observation.

Over the past ten or so years I have humbly perfected the method, changing bits here and there to suit me. The following chart gives you my easy instructions for dicing and cubing fruits and vegetables quickly. In no time you’ll be a pro as well.

Use the following instructions on potatoes, tomatoes, pears, cucumbers, zuchinis, peaches, avocados, and of course–apples:

Money Saving Tips for Summer Road Trips

 

Heading out on a roadtrip this summer? Here are a few money saving tips for your trip.

 

1. Pack a cooler with sandwiches and drinks, instead of spending your hard earned cash on expensive fast food and junk food..

2. Stop at convenience stores for hotdogs and drinks. They are so much cheaper than stopping at a fast-food restaurant for a “value” meal.

3. Heck, while you’re at the convenience store (Quick Trip, Flying J, TA or Travel America, and Race Track are my favorites) purchase a sandwich or sometimes even fresh fruit. Might as well use the restroom while you’re there too.

4. Stock up on the free mayonnaise, ketchup, honey, and mustard packets the next time you’re at a fast food restaurant. Don’t forget the napkins. Even if you get weird looks and someone gets ticked off at me for telling you to do this.

5. Don’t drive around from station to station to save gas. For example, on a 15 gallon tank, saving 2 cents per gallon will only save you about 30 cents. To save a full ten cents per gallon will save you $1.50. Is it really worth your time, convenience, and sanity after you get lost or go out of your way to have saved that little? Personally, I’d rather go without the hotdog.

6. Learn how to check and fill your oil/radiator/brake fluid/steering fluid/washer fluid yourself. A lot of places will do this for free or at a minimal cost, but it’s better if you know how in case one of these needs attention and you’re in an unfamiliar place..

7. Never travel with less than 1/4 tank of gas…you don’t need to pay anyone to tow you to civilization because you thought you could make it another 45 miles.

8. Don’t get gas in tourist towns.

9. Wear your seatbelt and don’t speed through small towns. Well really, you shouldn’t be speeding at all, but I’m just warning you that there’s a reason my husband and I call Dumas, Texas what we do.

10. Rest stops/travel centers are your bathroom, snacks, travel information, picnicking, playground friend. Many even offer free WiFi access.

11. Be realistic on hotel prices. When you have to pay later with either a doctor’s visit for bedbugs or an insurance adjuster for stolen property you’ll be thanking me later. Try coupons and online deals instead and watch out for any room regularly advertised at less than $50 per night. Better yet, just go camping.

Road Trip Tips for Summer (or anytime of the year)

Summer is fast approaching and with that means road trips and camping–or maybe it means you want to take a road trip or go camping, but something is keeping you back.

Namely your kids.

Or rather, namely your chief fear of taking children along for the ride and adventure…which can be a scary proposition indeed.

But it doesn’t have to be!

My little ones, ages five, six, and seven, have gone on road trips and camping with us since I was pregnant with them.  I’ll be the first to admit that caring for a child while inside of me is a lot easier and less stressful than taking care of it after I’ve given birth to it, but with a few quick pointers I think anyone can have a fun and enjoyable time vacationing with small children.

Pee stops, whining, and “are we there yets” included.

You think I’m kidding right?

Well you’re wrong.

Maybe.

Let’s begin with road trips.

The most important thing to remember while driving for any type of long distance (one-and-a-half hours is a long distance for a child) is comfort. If you can keep your child’s relative comfort in check, it will go a long way for both you and your child. While you can’t totally eliminate whining, pee stops, and annoying questions, you can drastically cut down on the number of occurrences by following these simple measures:

• Plan accordingly–know where rest stops, scenic overlooks, and Walmarts are. Even if you hate Walmart. Why Walmart? Because Walmart is everywhere and has everything.
• Keep the sun out of your child’s face.
• Stock up on formula, water, and clean bottles/nipples if you are traveling with a baby.
• If breastfeeding, well dang you’re just lucky. Breast pads and nipple cream?
• If the child is eating semi-solid to solid food, bring extra baby food jars or dinners with you. My favorites were the kinds that needed no refrigeration or preparation that I could use in a jam.
• STOP to eat or feed a child. Rest stops and scenic overlooks are great opportunities for you and your children to get out and stretch your legs and/or clean up.
• Bring extra diapers and wipes–in fact more than you think you need–and change that kid’s diaper. Again, rest stops and scenic overlooks are great places to do this (just don’t spoil the view).
• For each day stuck in a vehicle, bring two extra pairs of clean clothes and underwear for ages 2 and under and one extra pair over the age of two. Dress your kid in the ugliest outfit first, and arrive in nicest if visiting family or friends. Why? Because spills, spitups and blowouts happen.
• Bring a comfort item from home–this could mean a favorite blankie, a doll, a pacifier, or in my youngest’s case a string to put in his nose.
• Pillow for older kids to rest their sleepy heads on.
• Blanket to keep them warm (the warmer they are the sleepier they are).

The second most important thing to remember for road trips is distraction. That’s right, keep that kid occupied and you’ll be less likely to pull your hair out at the end of the day:

• DVD players anyone?
• Favorite toys (keep to three maximum for older children). Suggestions: Cars, dolls, rattlers, stuffed animals, balls, action heroes, play thing that straps to a seat for infants, and more.
• Simple games like goldfish, battleship, connect the dots, checkers, chess,  etc. Keep these games in a designated box or tote.
• Silent distractions: Books, crosswords, puzzles, etch-a-sketch, coloring book with nine crayons, doodling pad. Keep these distractions in the same box with the toys.
• Road games like ABC, license plates, and I Spy, cost nothing.
• Snacks.
• Headphone and a music playing device.

I highly recommend not traveling for more than eight hours in one single day if your trip is going to take longer than fourteen hours. This means that if it typically takes you all morning, afternoon, and evening to get to grandma’s house, then start traveling at 8 am the day before and stop for the day at 4 pm. Do this twice unless camping or hotels are out of the question. Yes, this means that your usual one day trip now takes two days, but I promise you that it will be worth it in the end. I live in the Dallas area and it takes me 24 hours of straight driving to visit my husband’s family who live in central Utah. We used to travel all day non-stop, but last year we got smart and spread the road trip over four days while camping for the night. We were all much more relaxed, happy, and less stressed when we arrived at our destination.

If you are just attempting road tripping, travel no longer than two hours from your home to test things out the first time. Go to a historic place, a state park, a hike, the lake, or even a museum for the day.

Anyone else hitting the road this summer with the family?

How do you manage to navigate the interstates, highways and dusty trails of our great nation with kids in tow?

Let’s Go to Luckenbach, Texas

Probably my favorite visit during our spring break roadtrip believe it or not was not the Alamo. Sure, the Alamo was a definite highlight, but one place I’ve been dying to visit is Luckenbach, Texas.

I probably first heard about Luckenbach when I was a preteen living in San Saba out in the Hill Country of Texas. My stepfather loved listening to old rock, country, and music from the 70s and 80s, which probably explains my affection for the same genres of music. I remember taking his Alabama cassette tape and using a song from it to lip sync to for a talent show for school, but it was the song my stepdad used to play by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson, Let’s Go to Luckenbach Texas, that burned an impression in my mind. Not that I had any idea who who Waylon Jennings was (but I had a huge crush on Willie Nelson!), I just liked the words and feel of the song.

Not that I knew what firm feelin’ women were either, much less Newberry’s train songs and the Hatfields and McCoys.

But the basics of love, the need to be laid back, and the desire to feel no pain–that was something I could certainly identify with.

I can’t tell you how many times I have passed or driven very close to Luckenbach and never stopped. However, this time I wasn’t letting anything or anyone stop me from seeing what this place is all about.

But first, where is Luckenbach and who is this Hondo dude?

Another good question: I’ve always heard of the Hatfields and McCoys…now just who are they anyway?

Dang, and I thought my family was bad. Then again, my family ain’t involved in politicin’ either.

I enjoyed walking around and visiting Luckenbach, although next time I’d like to spend more time there than just the fifteen minutes or so that we did walking around and taking photographs. It would have also helped if I hadn’t needed to find a restroom badly too. Now don’t get me wrong, they had restrooms…

No not this–that’s an ATM:

…although I wasn’t about to use them because I saw a grown man walk out of the women’s restroom and I admittedly got intimidated by that.

He was probably just drunk or lost. But still.

I loved all the graffiti on the walls and almost signed my own name, but after this incident at the Cadillac Ranch last summer I decided against it.

Did I feel any different in Luckenbach? Did it change me? No, but I don’t think that’s the purpose of this place. Instead, I found a piece of me I identified with here. I rediscovered what I love best–simplicity and longnecks.

Okay. Fine. I’m Mormon so the longneck part is out. Although I am sure someone else can identify with that.

Here’s where you can get your longneck in case that person is you:

Thank me later.

And yes, I can’t wait to go back to Luckenbach, Texas. Just not sure I’ll be doing the basics of love there. Gotta figure out how to be a firm feelin’ woman first. Or not.

Be sure to check out my other Spring Break 2010 posts!

Part 1: Texas Weather is Like a Box of Chocolates
Part 2: Roadtrip Cheapwadry – Driving on the Wild Side
Part 3: Why I Don’t Drive on Roadtrips
Part 4: Canyon Lake
Part 5: Hooker Hotels and Long Lost Aunts
Part 6: The Alamo and I Still Have No Clue Who Jim Bridger Is

Oh Possum!

So, remember that possum my husband and I found on the creepy neighbor’s fence? You know…the white piggie my little boys found. Well, little Miss Piggie found another spot under our deck to relax during the daytime and I only found out because I was washing dishes while my youngest was outside playing. It was then that through the kitchen window I watched as he began poking sticks and little fingers into the spaces between the deck boards.

In a new spot.

Ladies and gentlemen–meet Momma Possum:

Ain’t she awesome?

Especially when you stick a foam bat in her mouth.

(Hurry, someone call PETA.)

You may be asking yourself right now why exactly I think this is a momma possum I’ve got here. You may even be assuming that I am sexist with assumptions. And to that I would say what do you call these?

Ahem, and these?

And this?

Oh possum!

Er, I mean possums. Momma and her four baby possums needed to find a new home quicker than a fly on a turd. I wouldn’t have cared so much if momma and her babies lived under my deck if my boys were A.) nonexistant or B.) not curious, but alas they are quite the opposite and so I called animal control. Again. Again they told me to put down the $50 deposit or have my husband pull up the deck boards and they’d get the critters. Once I relayed that information back to my husband, he was all forget that and did the dirty work himself.

My boys couldn’t have been more proud…I mean more curious.

Then that’s when I got the begging to keep one as a pet. Just one baby possum pretty please.

I had to tell my husband no. No Way.

I called animal control to come get their possums and set them free, but not before my husband held one of the babies hostage and took it around the neighborhood for our neighbors to see.

I’ve never felt like more of a redneck than I did two days ago.

PS: Animal control finally showed up and took off with the possum family. They set them free for us. Of course, we found another baby possum after hours and so my husband took to being it’s momma for the night carrying it around in his hoodie pocket and petting it and kissing it. Yes, I just said he kissed the danged thing. Several times.

PPS: I called animal control first thing in the morning. Cannot let that man get too attached.

What Moms Really Want for Mothers Day

A holiday comes once per year that so many fret over in hopes of pleasing moms of all ages and future mothers alike. That holiday is Mothers Day—that day devoted to showing how much we care and love our mothers, grandmothers, and the women in our life.

Often we put so much effort into satisfying the women we are shopping for that we forget about Mom. We hope that if we buy her a sparkly pair of earrings or a new glass paperweight (she already has twenty) that we will give her joy. We hope that if we give her the latest gadget that she will see how much we think about her. Doing these things are wonderful, but I think we usually miss the point about Mothers Day—we forget about the small things.

I recently surveyed thirty women, mostly mothers, about what they really want for Mothers Day. The answers they gave me may surprise you—well unless you’re a mom yourself.

Of the thirty women I surveyed, 16%, said they wanted more emotional support. Specifically listening to her without judging or offering solutions, a weekend without bickering from her children, spouse or in-laws, receiving acts of kindness, and making her feel special for the day or weekend. I think so many women take care of everyone else’s emotional needs that they often put their own aside.

A woman naturally seeks to do kind works for others without the expectation of anything in return. Of the thirty women I surveyed over half, 63%, said they desired acts of service performed for them as a gift for Mothers Day. They asked for a complimentary babysitter once per month, someone that would plan, purchase, prepare and cleanup dinner, a full night of uninterrupted sleep or one day to sleep in, and breakfast or coffee in bed. Several moms said they just wanted to feel like the queen of their castle for the day by not having to lift a finger.

Twenty-three percent of the women surveyed said they didn’t want any presents bought for them, but that they would rather spend time with their family, their friends or all alone. In fact, one mom said that she wished everyone would just vacate the house for the day and let her bask in the quiet of her own home. Most importantly, I think these moms just need a day to rejuvenate mentally whether by spending a day in a quiet home reading her favorite book, a night with girlfriends over a good movie or an afternoon with her family (remember no arguing or eye-rolling).

Lastly, some gift suggestions for Mothers Day. Mom may want emotional support, acts of service and your presence more than she wants your presents, but gifts are always a nice touch. Of the thirty women I surveyed forty percent said they loved gifts along with the other non-tangible goods. Of that 40 percent, it was equally divided on whether those gifts should be handmade or bought. To decide which might be the most appropriate for your mom, think about your budget and whether she is sentimental, indifferent or hard to please and purchase or make your gifts accordingly. For instance, if she is sentimental, you might load a digital photo frame with photographs of her family. If she is indifferent or hard to choose for, purchase a gift card to her favorite restaurant or store. Other solutions that almost all moms enjoy are gift certificates to the theatre, salon or spa, nice hotel or even a one time maid service. For something homemade, make gift certificates for sleeping in, doing chores, and making dinner, embellish a wooden frame with craft supplies or pick some wildflowers and put it in a pretty vase. Other ideas are round-trip tickets to see friends or family, a cookbook if she is a culinary experimenter, and a weekend getaway without the kids.

Whether you buy Mom something this year for Mothers Day, go on a walk with her in the woods, or allow her to sleep in until 11 am, the most important thing you can do for her is simply tell her you love her by keeping her in mind when you choose a gift. In fact, I think we should always think of our mothers no matter the time of the year. The first Sunday of May is the one day with “Mothers Day” written on it, but everyday should be a celebration of our mothers or those that choose to mother us.

Now that is what mothers really want.

Sunday I was at the Wolfgang Puck

Saturday I was at the Walmart fuming when I noticed they weren’t carrying my favorite caffeine powdered beverage and had filled the shelves with Great Value brand sugary kool-aid drink. Sunday I was at the Wolfgang Puck in Detroit feasting upon herbalicious flat bread, fancy salad with mystery plants, and the best tasting steak I have ever experienced in my life. In fact, the steak was so big it had a bone and I think I had a foodgasm.

Until I tasted the dessert.

Perhaps I don’t have refined enough taste, but the “chocolate” dessert they served us reminded me either of

1.) a mouse, 2.) a rat or

3.) can you possibly imagine what my kids said?

It really didn’t taste that great either. In fact, I’m still not sure what flavor it was hence the word chocolate in quotation marks above.

The main thing that bothered me about Wolfgang Puck was my lack of etiquette skills the lack of ranch dressing and Dr Pepper. The missing Dr Pepper wasn’t too surprising since I had been forewarned that Yankees don’t typically keep Nectar of the Gods stocked in restaurants, but not stockpiling ranch dressing kind of had me feeling butthurt. Fortunately the steak and potatoes made up for my disappointment. The waiters also graciously laid my cloth napkin in my lap and peppered my food for me–although I also didn’t realize I was supposed to tell the waiters when to stop peppering until after they’d blackened my food. So, Mr. Puck there you have it from one southerner whose fanciest restaurant before you was Chili’s–my off the wall review of my very first four course dinner.

(By the way Wolfgang, I know you were in town that night because you were on one of my fellow blogger’s same flight and I just wanted to let you know how much I loved that steak. In fact if you would have shown yourself to me Sunday night at your restaurant I was going to whisper sweet nothings about that steak in your ear.)

After my novel experience at the Wolfgang Puck of Detroit we then made our way to a cocktail party to socialize with other journalists and auto bloggers. Andie Smith a Dallas based freelance photographer, Jane Devin of Finding My America, Connie Burke of GM, and I chatted for a bit and then ditched that place for few minutes to tour the casino grounds for a bit. Connie got the gambling bug, but it was Jane who raked in the dough that night. It was too bad that I don’t have a passport yet and could not have made our way south to Canada for some more fun (although I keep hearing there’s tons of strip joints so we’d just have to skip those places. Also someone else told me I can get milk in a bottle in Canada and I really want to try something vintage like that. I also wonder if I can get caffeine by the pill up there since it seems like I can buy every other pill from the looks of my spam folder.).

My fun in Detroit didn’t stop at the Wolfgang Puck or the casino. I had so many new adventures to experience, laughs to laugh, candid moments to photograph over the next two days. Oh and I had to work like a crazy woman on speed (which is why that caffeine would have really come in handy). I can’t wait to show y’all the newest vehicles and concepts to come out with the various automakers at the North American International Auto Show with just a touch of humor–just a touch, who am I kidding?

Seriously though, General Motors kept us so busy I can feel every muscle in my legs, feet, and toes. I almost couldn’t make it out of bed this morning to get my children ready for school, but I did because I’m not like my husband who makes our children four hours late for school because he forgot it was Monday. True story my friends.

PS: The whole Walmart reference up there is to honor Andie Smith and Jane Devin who joined me in Detroit for the auto show and made fun of basked in my love for all things Walmart.

PPS: I wonder how many other writers have put both Walmart and Wolfgang Puck in the same paragraph.

Disclosure: General Motors paid for my patdown free flight, Dr Pepper free Wolfgang Puck four course dinner, hotel at the Marriott (just wait til I tell that story), cocktail party that we ditched, as well as basically everything else. I only include this disclosure because the FCC makes me, not because I want to brag. Now if GM can buy me some etiquette lessons we’ll all be covered and the world will be a safer place–and then I could gloat. But nah, I’d never do that.

Full Disclosure

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