Keeping it Simple

Life is simple, yet we make it harder than it has to be.

Running in the woods this morning got my brain fired up again. When you’re running over roots and rocks you have to keep your eyes wide open. It’s important, so that you don’t stumble and fall.

Then again, what if you do?

In my own life I’ve learned that it’s important to free fall, too,
to run wild like you used to when you were a child without a care in the world.

Too often we are intent on maintaining control, on being in control of all things – only to miss out on the greatest gifts.

What gifts (people, places, or things) have you unknowingly rejected in your life? Maybe it’s just that you’ve not made space or time.

Maybe it’s because you’ve allowed too much drama, thought, or over-analyzation in.

Do you think Jesus, (and other great leaders) over analyzed, or was He a man of action?

At times a fixation on how things should be – in a perfect world- can prevent the fullest joy God offers.

A friend said recently that sometimes a dead end leads to an open door. We had driven down a dirt road that day to stumble upon a stranger, who we chatted up for awhile. A delightful detour, that would have been missed if fear or hesitation had intervened.

Today I’m open to detours.

Lately I’ve been taking a break from the illusion of control and understanding – just to be.
I’ll listen more, think less.
He is with you always.

In that, there is joy and an ability to live life full on!

New Life, New Year

New life,

new year.

A few points to ponder/ things I’ve learned along the way. Unlike Letterman’s list, there are only 6.

1: Success isn’t monetary. Sure, this seems obvious to most. But let’s really redefine achievement and what it means in this new year. I’ve met a lot of homeless people who are richer in character, love, and peace, than those living in the largest mansions.

2: Love and peace, are major assets in your life. Perhaps the two best you can possess.

3: Corinthians confirms this. “The greatest of these is Love…”
Can you imagine? He places love over even Faith in God. Read it.

4: If people say they want you, love you, and need you, make sure that what they’re saying lines up with what they’re doing. Maybe mom was right. Actions really do speak louder than words. Same with your business life. Make sure words and actions are congruent. If you’re confused, cut your losses and move on to a higher level of living and peace will be your reward. This requires a bit of sacrifice, perhaps loss, and pain, most of the time.

5: Congruency is the greatest challenge of mankind. But when our thoughts, words, and actions are all in alignment, your body mind and soul are at peace. Otherwise, there’s conflict. As Paul wrote, I do what i do not want to do. Ever done that before?

6: Adventure might provide adrenaline, and so does angst. But overall we should seek Peace, not Justice. That was one of the greatest lessons someone taught me last year. You cannot put a price on peace.

Jungle School

The great thing about life is how it changes year after year.  Having kids is an adventure, and one that changes us in so many ways.  Before kids, I was an adventurous girl.

In Peru one year, I hiked for 20 miles with my husband in the heart of the Amazon.  We followed a small dark skinned man who carried a machete and spoke no English, trudging on faith through the thick forest.  The blade of the machete was vital for the tree limbs and branches we’d face, and we trudged through the thigh deep swamp water, our legs protected by tall rubber wading boots.

In the heart of the Latin American Jungle that day, we were a million miles away from anything resembling tourism, or suburbia.  We ate worms, (okay, just one) climbed a gigantic tree and picked fresh Peruvian bananas for lunch.  A small black monkey jumped on my shoulders and sat there for a while, clinging to my head. Our guide thought it was amusing and gave him a banana, which the monkey ate while sitting on top of my shoulders.

Even today I’ve learned that no amount of striving or achieving can replace the adventurous experiences that a simple walk in the woods can offer.

Today I’m back in the states, thousands of miles away from that jungle, but I’m taking my own kids out for a hike at noon, after my book edits are complete.  I want them to be ready for the day, several years from now, when we take them to scale Macchu Picchu as a family.

I would not say we’re a conventional family, but then again who is? You may not run in the jungle, but if you are a unique mother with various talents and gifts from God, then your version of running in the jungle is probably something I would love to learn.

A friend of mine makes hand made laundry detergent.  Another is a mompreneur, who just started her own blog business. What an adventure! Another mom has an amazing organizational knack for creating the best local adventures for her child.  In all of it, we can live an adventurous life wherever we are, with the resources we have been given.

Chances are , who you are as a mom is different in many ways, than who you were before.  It’s a journey filled with adventure, and each moment is a surprise.

I traveled a lot when I was without child, but I never expected I’d be traversing the jungle with toddlers in tow! But here I am, planning another trip in 2010, evaluating their fitness levels, contemplating our lesson plan, imagining the slow days, spending time with daddy and just our small tribe.

Last year we took our son to the hear of the Amazon for his first day of Kindergarten, which has become a tradition in our family.  In Belize we spent the days swimming in the Privassion River, climbing rocks,looking at the strange animal hanging from the tree outside our hut, and hiking a small mountain.  In the evenings I finished my book overlooking the waterfall.  This is what life is made of. Creating an adventurous life wherever you are.

Tammy Kling is the mother of two amazing toddlers.  She is also the Author of the global bestselling book, The Compass, featured on Oprah Radio.  She is a life coach, and an advocate for the homeless.  She has also appeared on Dateline NBC,  and Geraldo, among other shows. Her books have been featured in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. Visit her blog at www.escapesuburbia.worpress.com

Trophies

I got into the car one morning and looked inside my center console to find my three year old’s soccer trophy.

I found it interesting that he had left it there because just the day prior the trophies were handed out to my sons at the last soccer game of the season by the coach, (also their dad).  The 5 year old had waited the entire season for the trophy.  His best friend, another 5 year old on the team had been talking about the trophy he’d receive for days. All of the boys badly longed for that gold trophy and could not wait to receive it!

In the world we live in, we continually strive for the trophies of reward that signify each achievement and decade. One year it is a new car trophy, the next a new job, a new achievement, the latest technology, laptop, gadget, grill, fill in the blank.  We all know friends, loved ones, or acquaintances that constantly push their kids for trophies and achievement.  “It all starts with that gold star,” a friend noted,  “In kindergarten.”  Competition and achievement are wired into us at an early age.

Our trophies are material and our trophies are immaterial.  Most of the time we take it for granted that in other countries where people are hungering for a meal, that in ours, we have access to any kind of trophy that we want. Trophies represent achievement, sure. But what if we didn’t have to achieve anything at all to be happy, and what if we didn’t need some material representation of a reward?

The trophy was so important to the five year old that he carried it gingerly inside the house and placed it in the living room for all to see.  Anyone who walked in was told about the trophy and how he had earned it.

When I go into the car and saw my 3 year old’s trophy lying there among the old scraps of paper, a pen, and some change I smiled.

In a world where trophies matter, it was nice to know someone who just didn’t care.

Tammy Kling is the author of the best selling book The Compass, recently featured on Oprah radio.  She is a life coach who works with others helping them achieve their dreams of writing a book, and an advocate for the homeless.  Visit her blog at www.escapesuburbia.wordpress.com.

Adventure Travel! (With Toddlers)

Climb the Arch de Triomphe, scale a mountain in Belize, or Run through the French Countryside with small kids in tow? Absolutely, says this Flower Mound mom.

Standing at a kids birthday party one Saturday, I overheard a mother use the words Before Kids… to start a sentence. “Before kids,” she went on to say, “it seemed like we had a lot of money!”  The other parents chimed in, nodding their heads.  “Before kids,” another mother said, “I used to run triathlons.”

How many times do we find ourselves using those two words? I remember the looks I got the first time I mentioned a trip to the jungle at a play group. The mothers looked at me in horror, as if I’d just told them I was taking my kids to Afghanistan on vacation.  One was planning a trip to Disney, and another had just returned from a drive up to Dollywood.  “Will it be safe?” a friend asked.  “I don’t like creepy crawly things,” said another.
“But will they remember it?”, one mom said.  “You should wait until they are older.”

That last question always leaves me scratching my head. If they’ll remember Disney, why not an adventure of another kind. If you were inclined to take adventures before kids… you can do it now that you have them and it doesn’t have to break the bank either.  You can give them an authentic experience observing the natural wonders of a nearby lake, or instead of the Rainforest cafe, you can budget and plan for an amazing once in a lifetime journey to a real rain forest!

Rediscover who you are

Before kids… we traveled the world.  And not just travel, but adventure travel. Our trips often led us to exciting and unpredictable destinations and experiences that changed our lives.  We worked in orphanages in Romania, holding tiny babies that had been abandoned by their mothers. We made friends with gypsies on the street, flew back one year to be at the bedside of a dying friend we’d met who my husband had grown to love like a father.In the years before we got pregnant, we hiked twenty miles through an anaconda infested swamp in Peru, climbed Macchu Picchu, dined on Piranha that night and slept in a small thatched roof hut surrounded by jungle animals. Each time we did something new, my mind and soul expanded and I knew I’d want that experience for my kids when I had them.  Now that we’ve got two toddlers in tow, I find the desire to adventure still strong.  I have to plan smaller mini adventures, from hiking in Belize to running through foreign woodlands.  The boys (2 and 4) love it all.  And there are still plenty of new things to conquer.  My friend Holly takes her toddlers skiing and they are already swooshing down the slopes, while mine wouldn’t know a ski lodge from a marina.  But is on my list. Right behind hiking Macchu Picchu.

Add Adventure to Your Life!

Our first child is six now, but we spent his first day of kindergarten in the jungle in Costa Rica. We woke up to howler monkeys swinging from the trees and he was exposed to Spanish everyday, and the sights and sounds and tastes of an entirely new culture.  And something remarkable happened.  His mind and soul expanded, and he became instantly aware that anything is possible, that the world is a giant place with amazing people living in every crevice and corner.

When my boys were infants, Target seemed like a gigantic challenge.  The screaming, the diapers, the shopping carts, and transportation issues of food bags and toddlers.  But an adventure trip allowed me to see things in a  different light, and relax a bit.  After all, I convinced myself, if I could conquer a twelve hour flight with ease, Target should be a breeze! Venturing out …changed my mind and gave me confidence in a lot of different areas of motherhood.

How to Adventure Travel with Kids!

A magically (and affordable) way to bond over unique escapes.

1. Go with what you love.  If you loved running or participating in marathons before kids, plan adventures that involve small runs or local races with the kids.  If your hobby was something else, re-ignite the flame! Look for adventures that match your interests.

2. Think of the one thing you’ve always wanted to do.  Make a list! Take on the challenge of creating a new adventure with your kids each month.

3. Explore trains, planes, balloons, helicopters, and all modes of transportation that you never would have considered before! Take them to a local airport and watch the planes, rent a helicopter for special occasions, find a local canoe hole where you can rent canoes and teach your kids a new sport!

4. Be open, open, open.  Cultivate an adventurous, anything is possible spirit!

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Tammy Kling is the author of The Compass. (www.amazon.com) as well as a new book, Adventure! A Woman’s Guide to Living the Life of Her Dreams, (2010) Her work has appeared globally and has been featured on Dateline NBC, and in The New York Times, and Wall Street Journal, among others. She is an adventurous travelor, working in orphanages in Romania and traveling jungles across the earth, and an advocate for the homeless. Visit her at www.escapesuburbia.wordpress.com.  The Compass; How to Go from Where You are to Where you Want to be, about the journey and adventure of your life, is her newest book.

The free gift everyone needs

Time. The greatest currency of all.

Each day we have 1400 precious minutes of life. If you’re a mother, you know how quickly those minutes pass, like shooting stars in the night sky. We blink, and it’s over, and everything our mothers and grandmothers told us about how time flies is true.

No doubt, time is the greatest currency we can give our kids. And it’s so simple, and stress free. You don’t have to be wealthy, to give the currency of time. Time is free, and we all have it to give. But time is the currency most wasted.

Today, in our divided homes, moms are blogging, kids are on computer games, and dad is on text  or email. We’re all plugged into technology, myself included, and it’s easy for the hours to zip by before we’ve realized where they’ve gone.

Time is passing you by. Before you know it you wake up, and another birthday has arrived. The moms I admire the most are the ones who spend face time, on the floor, with the kids, while the laundry and dishes stack up. The moms who play cars without getting restless, or interrupting play time with a new idea. I am not one of those moms, but I try, try, try to be. I spend all day with my kids but more of it could be quality time, and not just time. Face time, on the floor, building a puzzle even though puzzles frustrate me.

The wonderful thing about time is that we all have it to give, and it’s free. The tragic thing about time, is that you never can know when it’s going to run out.

It reminds me of the two kids whose parents died within months of each other, from random diseases. One from cancer, another from diabetes. Who thinks that’s going to happen?

In my work as an author slash mom, I often pose the question; how many summers or winters do you have left? We think we’re entitled to the average life span of 70 something, but that’s really just a mirage, because we aren’t guaranteed anything. Carpe diem, sieze the day, the time is now.

if you had just thirty days to live, who would you spend it with?

You can read more about how Tammy spends her time at Escape Suburbia.