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I Just Lied to My Kid’s Teacher

Straight up flat out lied like a bandit.

Really, I totally lied to her. I walked in late with my daughter to preschool and the teacher says to me–Is the Discovery bag (Show and Tell bag with snacks) out in your car?

*Panic Face*

Dammit.

I forgot. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes with a really cool toy my daughter loves and some fruit snacks.

That’s what I should have said. Instead I said this:

“Oh, yeah–let me just run out there and get it.”

What? Seriously? Let me just run out and get it? What did I think? I had a secret stash of kid appropriate tasty treats and an educational toy that doesn’t make me look like the worst mom ever just sitting in the backseat of the Jeep…

So, here I am in my big pile of lies. I actually step outside, walk to my car, pretend to look around (the teacher’s in the classroom, mind you–she has no idea I’m pretending to look around in my car, but still I do it anyway) and then go back in the room and

Tell the Truth Lie Some More.

“I totally forgot it at home. Do I have time to run and get it?”

“Sure, snack’s at 10:30″

So I make a mad dash to my car, frantically call my husband and have him meet me at the curb with instructions to ‘find anything made by LeapFrog and make sure the batteries work.’ I haul ass to the grocery store, buy like four things of fruit snacks, (why four I have no idea–apparently I thought the act of giving an inappropriately large amount of fruit snacks to the teacher would help atone for my sin) and sneak to the back to shove the bag in my daughter’s cubby when she’s not looking.

On my way out the door the teacher mentions to my daughter that she can’t wait to see what brought in the Discovery Bag.

My daughter’s response?

“Me too, it was sitting next to me empty this morning on my way here.”

Well played teacher, well played.

Jamie Harrington is an aspiring author that spends her days frantically writing about super heroes and band geeks. She’s married to a pretty cool guy, and has a beautiful three year old daughter that’s the topic of most of her blog posts at Totally the Bomb.com. You can also find her mindlessly chatting away all day on twitter.