It is Their Turn

Somewhere today a kid is stepping onto a playing field.

Her first soccer game in her speedy pink shoes, his first freshman at-bat. And that standout day will be punctuated in some cases not by how well your child played, but by how you led them to the field.

We have all seen the stories in the news, tragic in some cases, about parents who went too far. And yet, most of us consider those cautionary tales as extreme, and nothing like what actually happens at our kids’ games. I gotta tell you, though, some of the rest of you aren’t impressing us much either.

Do you remember what it felt like to be eight years old, standing on that mound?

On that field?

Were you standing there wondering what flavor slush you would get after the game, or were you sick with worry about what your Dad would say about the grounder you fumbled? Or if he’d start trouble with that guy in the stands. Again.

It’s been awhile, I know.

Maybe 20 years?

Maybe 30?

You didn’t get picked, you struck out.

One second, one lapse in concentration and that ball went sailing by, much like your youth. I hope for the sake of the relationship you have with your child that you finally realize this cold hard fact. It is no longer your turn to play.

It’s his.

I’ve heard some of your pathetic arguments. Competition builds inner strength and commitment. Scholarships aren’t given to the weak and carefree. Talent is wasted without focus. I have news for you. If you put that kid on that field, he will learn with your help, or without it. And he will love you for your guidance and encouragement, or hate you for being the embarrassment at the game instead of the father who should have been.

Sports didn’t get hyper-competitive, my friend, you did. You invented the two-a-day, the club team, and the smack-talk. Sports turned into stepping stones for higher education, revenue generators for schools, proving grounds for respect and adoration, and the place where parent-child relationships went on the disabled list.

Reign it in.

Pull it back.

I know this is tough to accept, but this isn’t your turn at bat, it’s his. If he hits that ball it won’t make up for the one you missed. The only thing you can do to help that kid now is to develop his sportsmanship, and pure love of the game.

The good news is that after all these years, you will get to play this time. And you can play really well, or you can really strike out. The only way the “w” in the win column will be yours today, however, is if your child feels your pride and encouragement no matter what happens at the plate.

Your kid and I are hoping you’ll just do your best, and have fun.

Jay Lessons is a novice ‘burb daddy, a husband-in-training, and a sarcastic elitist. You can find more of his reflective rants at HalftimeLessons.com.

Potty Training in Less than a Day?

The last 5 years have been great as far as changing diapers, spending money on diapers and cleaning up dirty diapers! That is due to my youngest child finally moving to regular underwear! Back then, one of the most popular potty training books my friends and I used was Toilet Training In Less Than A Day by Nathan Azrin.

Many of my friends have had great success with this book.

I also picked up a few other ideas along the way.

Below are my favorite tips for potty training a toddler.

Potty training should start when your child is truly ready in all three areas: physical, mental and social. Your child must have the physical ability to perform the steps involved. They should understand how the body works and know the clues. Also, they should have the desire to learn.

Once you have a potty chair, and you are sure your child understands moving from diapers into underwear, ask them to bring you their favorite “lovey” or stuffed animal. Have them teach their “baby” first. This assures that they understand the process and are ready to move forward. If they have a hard time with this, you may want to put it off, but if they are willing to try, go ahead with the thought of introducing it to them.

The basics of the one day training was to set aside one full day that you can teach your child without interruptions. I explained that they were showing signs of being ready and were old enough to move into regular (big girl/boy) underwear. I gave my daughter some lightly salted popcorn and her first coke and explained that these would help us with our potty training for ONE day! Some smart kids may decide to prolong it for a few more days just to get these treats! I had her sit on the potty for 10 minutes and kept her entertained with books, cards, coloring etc. After 10 minutes she could eat some popcorn,drink her soda and play for about 10 minutes. We kept her out of diapers, pull-ups or underwear during this time, yes that means bottom half is out in the open. Then we started over again, sit on the potty for 10 minutes and then we increased the time off the potty about 5 to 10 minutes each time. So you would start off with 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off, 10 minutes on, 15 minutes off, 10 minutes on, 20 minutes off, etc. Continuing to fill them up with her snack which would make them thirsty, the more they drank the more opportunities you gave them to practice. You can use any snack or drink, but these were my preference for this special day!

Once you have introduced potty training, buy several pairs of underwear with your child’s favorite character. Wrap them up in some fun paper or present them in a special way. Let your child know that they have had some success potty training and they are now ready for underwear with their favorite character on them. Then after they model them and put them on and you clap and make a big deal about it, inform them that Cinderella (replace with favorite character name) doesn’t like to get wet or dirty. So, as soon as you need to go to the bathroom, don’t forget, run quickly to keep them dry and clean. A few of my friends tried this when they knew their kids were ready, understood and were still too busy playing to take care of business. If they do have an accident, you could try this note (or email)…

Dear (child’s name),

I am so proud of you for learning how to use the potty! I am also glad you got some underwear with my picture on it. Try to remember to tell your parents as soon as you feel the urge and then go to the restroom. Please remember that I don’t like to get wet or dirty and I love it when I stay dry!

We all have accidents sometimes and if you do, please tell your parents right away! They won’t be mad and then they can wash them quickly, clean me up and you can wear them again.

I am proud of you!

(sign characters name)

Remember each child develops differently. An age range could be anywhere from 18 months to 3 years. By 4, most kids are completely independent.

If you start and realize your child is not ready, try again in a few months.

You can’t make your child complete potty training until they are ready. You can start the training but they decide when it ends. This is not a battle and if it starts to head in that direction, put it off.

Toilet training usually cannot be accomplished in one day. You can accomplish a lot and get the basics down but expect accidents to happen and be prepared in case they do.

Have an extra set of clothing, a plastic bag to put wet clothes in and some wet wipes available nearby when you are out. Do not yell, punish or criticize when they have an accident.

Use positive reinforcement. Point out how proud you are when they make it to the bathroom.

Bedwetting is normal. For both kids the nighttime took much longer. We used night pull ups at bedtime and would try a few nights in a row every couple of months.

Nighttime dryness is achieved only when a child’s body is developed. You can’t “teach” this because it is not a skill. I know many boys that continued to wear night pull ups until the age of 7 and 8. I asked our pediatrician about this and they recommended to bring it up to the doctor to rule out any problems but that some kids may not develop this ability until later.

Please let us know if you have used any of these tips, have a book recommendation or other ideas to pass along!

Cammie Moise is the founder and editor of Moms Material.  She is a Texan mom who writes about all the fun and educational things she has come across in her 10 years of mommyhood.

Just 11 Steps to Go

To pacify or not to pacify, that has been the question (on Mamapedia)…

I have mentioned a few hundred times that Rhett(3) has had a bit of an addiction. He could be the poster boy for Pacifiers Anonymous (PA).

It started out so innocently…he cried and we needed a quick fix of peace and quiet so the binky pushing began.

Unlike the other boys, he actually took to the pacifier. It was pure heaven at first, but then he needed more, more, more.

More binkies.
More pacifier time.
More urgent cravings.

It was an ugly out of control spiral…

We had a binky intervention…twice. There are even family members who refuse to associate with him when he is using.

Tough love.
Tough times.
Tough side effects.

At one point I began strict pacifier rehab. He resisted treatment. I caught him stealing moments with his binky. I saw him sneaking hits. I saw him hiding the evidence.

He had to shake this habit before it ruined his life.

Ruined his life?

It isn’t like his drug of choice is illegal…

At that point we cut him a little slack.

Enablers.

At that point we decided to ignore the problem and hope it goes away.

Denial.

That was several months ago. We have given Rhett free and unfettered access to a never-ending supply of pacifiers. Slowly the pacifiers have been wearing out. Slowly the highs haven’t been as high.

Tonight as Rhett went up to take a bath blog-Stedman asked him if he wanted to take his binkies upstairs while holding out a handful of pacifiers.

Rhett turned and said “no”.

I asked him during his bath why he didn’t want his binkies.

He said “because I am not a baby”.

And he went to bed cold turkey.

He woke up about 45 minutes later shaking from withdrawal, but his resolve was firm. I am scooping him up and taking him to my bed.

This could be a rough night, but it is the first step…

When Holly isn’t dealing with binky abuse, she writes June Cleaver Nirvana.

How to Label Kid’s Shirts

Last year my kids went to private school and their uniform was polo-style shirts in red, white, navy blue, or hunter green. I had 3 kids who could all wear these shirts and I was forever trying to figure out whose shirts were whose. Not that it really mattered, but I didn’t want one kid to end up hoarding all the shirts and another having to wear a dirty shirt two days in a row, simply because I couldn’t sort the shirts into the right piles.

Plus, I have noticed that one brand’s size “Medium” ends up being the same size as another brand’s “Extra Large”, so I can’t really go by sizes either. One size fits one child, maybe the same size fits another, and maybe a larger size fits the smallest child.

Anyway, I got on one of my favorite Mom sites, Mamasource and begged the other moms to give me some advice as to how I could label my kids’ shirts so I knew whose was whose. I didn’t want to use their initials, because as one outgrows a shirt I want to pass it along to the next one without having to scratch out an initial in permanent ink.

One mom gave me this advice: “Using either dots or small lines, mark your oldest child’s clothing with one line, next child with two lines, next with three, and so on. So, when you pass on the clothing to the next child, you can just add a line.”

That. Was. Brilliant. For some reason I feel so much smarter now. Not that it was my idea, but every time I fold clothes and I see those little lines, I smile and give myself a mental high five. This also works for my two boys who like to buy shirts that are exactly the same. Actually, my younger son likes to look like his older brother and it drives the older brother crazy, but that’s for another post…

Maybe you can benefit from my (borrowed) genius!

Texan Mama is a pregnant mom of 4 which means that soon she will be adding yet another line to her growing polo shirt collection.  She writes at Who Put Me In Charge Of These People?

Summer Activities for Kids in Collin County

Burbmom.net has been scouring the Dallas-Fort-Worth Metroplex to find summer activities for children.  Luckily there are TONS of options for summer family fun in DFW.  Here is what we have found for the areas in and around Collin County.  The list is long, but I am sure I missed some of the great things that Collin County has to offer.  If you know of anything I missed, please add it to the comments below or email me the information at holly@burbmom.net and I will continue to update!

*drum roll*

Let’s bring on the summer fun:

Abrakadoodle - Remarkable Art Education – classes and camps – Multiple locations in/close to Collin County including Coppell, Carrollton, Farmer’s Branch, North Dallas, Richardson, Plano, Frisco, and Allen –

Adventure Day Camps – ages 4 to 13 – family campouts, summer day camps, special events and classes

Adventure Kids Playcare – Weekly themed summer camps at all locations – June 8 to August 17 – ages 2 1/2 and up – Monday through Friday 10-2 – drop-in care also available

Art-A-Rama – Summer Camps at Plano location Austin Ranch – trail rides – Tuesday through Sunday 10 am to 6 pm – starting at $30 – located near Grapevine Mills Mall – call 817-410-6860 for information

Boomer’s Summer Camp by Boomerangs Party and Play - 3 days a week 9 to 2 pm – ages 5 to 10 – featuring Mad Science – activities include: Unlimited Jump, Mad Science Projects, Arts & Crafts, Magicians, Puppeteers, Police Officers, Fire Department and many more – Multiple in/near Collin County locations including Flower Mound, Plano and Hurst locations

Bounce U – Create and Bounce Program – complete program for young artists – multiple locations

Canyons Rock Climbing – Summer camps – ages 6 to 16 – weekly morning or afternoon sessions Capricorn Equestrian Center – Summer Horse Camp for ages 6 through 14 – sessions June 8 through August 17 – Sachse, TX

Castle Montessori Schools - ages 18 months to 9 years – “Magical School Bus” summer adventures – field trips to: The Fort Worth Museum of Science and History, The Children’s Theater, Elm Fork Nature Preserve and many more

Children’s Courtyard – summer care and camps – ages 0 through school age – themed activities, events and field trips: Storybook Summer for preschoolers, Rock ‘n Roll Summer for School age children – multiple locations throughout the metroplex including McKinney and Plano

Color Me Mine - Summer Color Me Kids Classes for kids ages 6-12 (weekly sessions June 15-August 7)

Drama Kids International – Collin County for kids ages 3-17 to build confidence, speaking and acting skills.

Frisco Athletic Network -LoneStar Volleyball Academy grades 1-8, LoneStar Speed, Agility, Quickness Training, Frisco Youth Volleyball League grades 1-12,

Heard Summer Camps - Nature Summer Camps (June 8 – August 7) at McKinney’s Heard Museum

Hilton DFW Lakes Summer Camps - ages 5-18 – Tennis and weekly themed camps: extreme sports, splash, western, creature feature – swimming, horseback riding, karate, arts and crafts, team building, sports and general recreation games – for registration and information call 817-410-6828 or email Jonathan Shaw at jonathan.shaw@hilton.com

It’s a Sensory World – summer camps – gym for ages 12 months to 12 years – venue for home treatment PT/OT programs – preschool prep classes for children with special needs

Kreative Kidz Partyz – Weekly summer camps

Mad Science – hands-on Science Summer Camps – ages 3 to 12 – weekly themed camps: Earth, Bubbles, Super Sleuth, Rocket Ride to Space, Robot Mania – 12 locations in Denton, Collin and Dallas Counties

Mathnasium – Summer Camps – kids have fun and get ahead for the next year – tutoring and camps (grades 2-6: June 15-July 10 @ 9 to 3 and grades 7-8: July 20-August 14 @ 10-2)

Musical Theatre Institute – ages 7 to 18 – Your Broadway Connection Summer Camp – Instructors have Broadway, National Tour, Recording, and Premier Theatre credits – Broadway Prep:  Ages 13-18, July 27-August 7; Wonder Years:  Ages 7-12, July 27-August 7

NexGym Summer Camps – Beat the heat with indoor interactive playground for ages 5-14

Pottery Barn Kids – book club – every Tuesday from 11 – 11:30

Power Kids Sports & Fitness - summer camps – ages 3 to 12 – sessions available June 1 through August 21

Prestonwood Christian Academy – Summers at Prestonwood – summer courses and camps for all ages in Academics, Arts, Enrichment and Sports

Prospering Farm – Day camp in the country – ages 7 through 13 – horseback riding, crafts, swimming, and a weekly horse show

PSA – SummerFest SportsCamps at both Plano PSA locations

Revelation Dance Studio – Weekly hip hop camps – full or 1/2 day, weekly themed camps, summer intensives

Robots 4 U - camps during June, July and August – boys and girls ages 7-17 – 9:00 to 3:00 with extended care available – Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, North Dallas, Preston Hollow and Park Cities

Rover Dramawerks – Summer Camps in Plano and Richardson – June 15 through August 21

SoccerTots – summer classes – ages 18 months to 10 years – Child Physical Development Program – Over 80 fun games and activities – 19 indoor facilities

Spanish Schoolhouse – multiple locations in/near Collin County: Allen/McKinney, Castle Hills, Coppell, Flower Mound, Frisco, Southlake, North Dallas and The Woodlands – summer Spanish immersion summer camps – ages 3 to 10 – art, music, games, science, cooking all in Spanish

SMU – Summer at SMU – classes geared at fun:  Lego car rally, Grossology 101, Computer Animation, Lego Digital Construction, Exploring History with American Dolls, Kids in the Kitchen, Academic Enhancement and Rock’n Roller Coasters – SMU’s Plano Campus

Studio 3 Dance – Summer dance classes, summer themed morning camps, summer dance workshops – for ages 2 1/2 and up

The Artist Within – Allow your child to experience the wide world of art – Summer camps

The Peanut Gallery – summer camps – infants through school age – Programs include: Baby Signs, Zoo-phonics, Math their Way, Fun with Fitness, Gymnastics, Kindergarten Club, Computers, Spanish, and music

Under the Umbrella – Summer Skills Camps – services include speech, occcupational and physical therapy – Dynamic Therapy – Services for Children with Special needs