Divine Connection: Unplugging

For bone-weary Burb Moms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine.

This week’s encouragement is to practice the spiritual discipline of unplugging. Did you know ”unplugging” was a spiritual discipline? That’s what we call it these days but it addresses the universal and timeless need to recollect our senses and our selves from “out there” to ”in here” where me and God live. It takes the first step of recollection by removing the distractions, the biggest obstacles God would have to climb over to get your attention. In my life it means I literally need to unplug…from the internet, email, Facebook, online games, and dare I say even Burb Moms. (It’ll be ok. It’s only for a time. We can get through this.)

I thought it important to address this now because we are in the season of family vacations. This offers a wonderful opportunity to unplug and to strengthen many virtues. Right now I sit in front of open suitcases that will miraculously be packed and loaded in the car for a departure in less than 8 hours. I know you’ve been there, so I know you’ll understand when I say we take more than just our visible baggage when we go with family to visit family. Sister, if life is ever going to present you with an opportunity to practice unplugging and recollecting yourself, a car trip with children is it! A visit to the in-laws you say? Going to visit your own family? You’ve got a family member who knows where all your buttons are? Heaven help us, we need a spiritual survival guide! Yes, it is often easier to distract ourselves or our children with technology but unplugging creates space to have face-to-face human interaction and an opportunity to make a Divine Connection.

Here’s a method of recollecting yourself I teach people who are going through anxious times. When you are so upset you can’t calm down enough to pray, sit comfortably in a chair and take a few deep breaths. Maybe a method of self-comfort like rubbing your earlobes or progressively tightening and then relaxing your muscles will help you center and remind you everything will be ok. Then, lean with your elbows on your knees and try to pray. Turn the palms of your hands up toward God as you pray. When troubling or distracting thoughts come, turn the palms of your hands toward the ground letting your wrists hang limp. Imagine the thoughts running down your fingertips into the ground. When you’ve dumped them, turn your palms and your attention back to God. You may need to release many thoughts into the ground initially but soon, because you’ve addressed them, your mind will be freed from the clamoring of emotion and God can enter in and comfort your soul. God offers real comfort, better than a phone call to a friend or an online distraction.

Mark Thibodeaux has a great book called “God I Have Issues: 50 Ways to Pray No Matter How You Feel”. Each section is titled by an emotion you’re experiencing, i.e. judgemental, unforgiving, angry, sad, etc. His section titled “Family” begins with this verse: “When his own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, “He has lost his senses.” (Mark 3:21)  You ever get that kind of treatment from your family? Please don’t lose your senses this vacation season. By unplugging you are able to be fully present and uninterrupted in your interactions with God and others. You’ll be amazed at what more you can see–be it the real need behind a person’s behavior so you can pray they receive that grace–or the places where you contribute to the problem so you can pray for grace of your own. You might even see where God is moving in a person’s life, even yours. I pray that in your practice of unplugging, you catch a glimpse of the Divine backside and make a Divine Connection.

Divine Connection: Temperance

For bone-weary Burb Moms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine.

This week’s encouragement is to engage in the spiritual practice of temperance. Temperance is one of those old church words you don’t hear much these days. Essentially, it is the practice of moderation…which is admittedly a challenge as I stare down the Haagen Dazs Dulche de Leche…but I digress.

In these days of extreme everything, from makeovers to nachos, it is important to consider temperance. As mothers, we are the primary teachers of temperance from the time our children are toddlers and we must limit their sugar, until they are teenagers and we ask them to display a modicum of self-control over their behavior, dress and sexual activity.  Yeah….uh, we need to model and teach temperance, ya know what I’m sayin’!

Right about now we’re at the point in the summer where kids complain they are bored. As the allure of video games, playing with the neighbor kids, and late curfews begins to dissolve into tedium, they crave something fun and exciting and different. Try quoting Evelyn Underhill to them. (It won’t help them so much as it might entertain you…moms get bored too.)  She was an Anglican spiritual writer and retreat leader. She defined temperance in her book The House of the Soul as “one of the ‘ground floor’ virtues in the house of the soul, the balance of the ordinary life.” It means God is found in ordinary, everyday circumstances.

She writes:

The demand for temperance of soul, for an acknowledgment of the sacred character of the normal, is based on that fact–the central Christian fact–of the humble entrance of God into our common human life. The supernatural can and does seek and find us, in and through our daily normal experience: the invisible in the visible. There is no need to be peculiar in order to find God. The Magi were taught by the heavens to follow a star and it brought them, not to a paralyzing disclosure of the Transcendent, but to a little boy on his mother’s knee.

If I constantly seek “extreme” and fill my senses with hyper activity, might I miss God who can communicate through the simple and ordinary? Perhaps I can feel more fulfilled if I have, do and be less.

Evelyn reminds us:

How steadily temperate and central in its emphasis is all his teaching: full of color and quality of real life free from the merely startling, ever keeping close to our normal experience. Sowing, reaping, bread breaking, keeping sheep; in these the secrets of the Kingdom are hid. Jesus does not ask his disciples to speculate on the Divine Nature but to consider the lilies. It comes to the same thing and is more suited to our powers.

The good news is that God’s lessons are so simple a child can comprehend them. So, I wonder…where are the secrets of the Kingdom hidden in your experience? Is it in caring for home and family, grocery shopping, the drive in traffic to work, the tasks you perform for customer care, or the troubleshooting of recurrent problems? The good news is that whatever your daily experience, God is there and avails Himself to you? We can practice temperance of soul, looking for God in the normal, moderate and ordinary. I wonder what simple means He’ll use to make a Divine Connection.

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Divine Connection: Augustinian Prayer

For bone-weary  Burb moms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine.

I’d like to call this post “The Heart of the Matter” based on my experience this week with this form of prayer.  It happened in a hospital as my husband had to pay a visit to the heart catheterization lab so doctors could look into his coronary arteries.  They were trying to find the source of his chest pain.  We found ourselves confronted with our own mortality considering the procedure has a 1 in 1000 mortality rate.

We kissed and said goodbye before they took him into surgery and I was sent downstairs to fetch a Starbucks coffee and wait. I read mainly to distract myself, but I experienced a Divine Connection in the waiting room as I read about Augustinian Prayer. This type of prayer calls for “Transposition” which is the ability to use your creative imagination to transpose the words of Sacred Scripture to your situation today. You try to imagine what meaning the words of scripture would have if God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit appeared and spoke them to you right now, at this moment.

This turned out to be a very easy exercise as I read the following about Augustinian Prayer: “In Augustinian Prayer we try to think of the words of the Bible as though they were a personal letter from God addressed to each one of us…For example consider the words of Isaiah 43 and imagine they are being spoken to you now: “Thus says the Lord who created you and formed you: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine…You are precious in my eyes and glorious, and I love you…fear not, for I am with you.’”  And right there in that sterile place as I balanced a paper cup and a bag of my husbands clothing and belongings, God spoke to the heart of the matter. “Fear not, for I am with you.”

They call the heart the smartest organ, because the first thing it does upon receiving newly oxygenated blood from the lungs is feed itself first. It pumps the richest blood into it’s own coronary arteries before sending the rest out to the body. We should be so smart. Don’t starve yourself. “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” This week, try Augustinian Prayer with your favorite scripture and imagine God talks you into a Divine Connection.

Additional Resources: If you would like to read scripture that has been put together as an actual love letter check out The Father’s Love Letter, http://www.fathersloveletter.com/ Also, for those who would like to try a Taize service, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton church offers a Taize service on the fourth Monday of the month from 7:30 – 8:30pm. Put it on your calendar for June 22, July 27, and Aug 24. http://www.setonparish.org/index.cfm?load=page&page=205

God’s Peace,

Leslie Stewart

www.godlanguage.com

Divine Connection: Secrecy

For bone-weary Burbmoms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine.

Shhhhh…This week’s encouragement is to practice the spiritual discipline of Secrecy.

Divine Connection: Reading

Divine Connection is for bone-weary BurbMoms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine.

This weeks encouragement is to practice the spiritual discipline of reading.

Hey, remember those old Life cereal commercials that would implore little Mikey to “try it, you’ll like it”? Well there are many methods of engaging the spiritual discipline of reading but there is an ancient method of reading scripture that would ask you to do the same: Try it. This method is called Franciscan reading. It is based on the spirituality of St. Francis of Assisi who valued the qualities of action, spontaneity, love, praise, beauty, and delight in creation. You probably have seen many little garden statues of St. Francis as bird feeders. He was known for being in tune with nature and God’s creation.  His method of reading scripture is about bringing the word of scripture out into creation–into your life experience.

How it works: Read a passage of scripture, typically the gospel narratives or psalms, and then ask what is known as the “Fivefold Question.”

1. What does this passage say about God’s nature?
2. What does it say about human nature?
3. What does it say about how God relates to people?
4. What does it suggest about how I might pray?
5. What does it suggest about how I might act?

Many love the Franciscan method of reading scripture because it is about finding truth and application…it is about action.  People who employ a Franciscan spirituality don’t sit still in long times of prayer. They pray by doing. For example, you might read the story of the paralytic lowered through the roof before Jesus in Mark 2:4 or Luke 5:19. Then after asking the fivefold question you arrive at the fifth question to wonder which of your friends has such a pressing need, and then ask God what you can do to help meet that need…then you get up and go do it.

Or here is another Franciscan prayer exercise you can try apart from the fivefold question: Go outside and look for two trees; one which resembles the kind of person you would like to be or your goal in life, another which expresses in some way the kind of person you see yourself to be now. Decide what you need to do in order to change from the way you now are to the way you would like to be or the way God would like you to be.

Try it, you’ll like it…and you just might make a Divine Connection.

Additional Resources:

• Father’s Day is coming up. If you’d like to give the gift of a good book that is a basic introduction to the spiritual disciplines try A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines: 12 Habits to Strengthen Your Walk with Christ by Patrick Morley.
• For an online daily reading that provides a generous helping of psalms, old testament and new testament readings try www.missionstclare.com.

God’s Peace,

Leslie Stewart

www.godlanguage.com

Divine Connection: Humility

For bone-weary Burbmoms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine.

This week’s encouragement is to practice the spiritual discipline of humility. I am about to tell you one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.  My tale begins, as all the great stories do, with a protagonist marked by blind ambition and total ignorance of what lay before her…

There I was–in the Dallas Convention Center rubbing elbows with some of today’s best Christian authors and speakers. I was a guest of a friend who is a prolific author of books on prayer. She invited me to her book signing so she could provide feedback on a book proposal I’d mailed to her. As we walked around the convention center, other authors and friends of hers would stop and chat, and she would introduce me. Some authors, I  recognized immediately; some only conjured recognition upon hearing their name.

Imagine it with me now…you’re standing beside your famous friend as another famous person approaches with someone holding onto her arm. You realize the woman is gripping her arm as if she’s disabled in some way and needs to hang on for stability or support. As you’re introduced, you extend your hand but the woman’s gaze never shifts and she doesn’t extend her hand in return. Suddenly it dawns on you that she is blind! You then recognize her name as another famous author…and you’re standing there holding your hand out too a blind woman in the middle of a circle of people you aspire to be like. This is the stuff sitcoms and my life are made of.

Yes, my friends, this is but one memory the Spirit brings to mind whenever I need a good ole dose of humility. (Sometimes the Spirit brings it to my husband’s mind and he’ll administer the dose by saying something like, “Well that’s about as foolish as trying to shake hands with a blind person!”) I think it is good to laugh at yourself.

Richard Rohr said, “Humility and honesty are really the same thing. A humble person is simply a brutally honest person about the whole truth…The only honest response to life is a humble one.”

Now, I could tell only part of the story about my day at the convention center and it could paint a different picture, one where I come out looking better. That’s image management. Do you ever catch yourself doing that? What if I name-dropped the authors’ names in the depiction above. Would that have made the point about humility when really I was also telling you who I know? Refraining from name-dropping and refraining from image management are two ways to practice humility.

Other practices of humility from The Spiritual Disciplines Handbook include: deliberately keeping silent about accomplishments and talents, drawing others out instead of becoming the center of attention, avoiding favoritism, and choosing downward mobility so others have more.

You might ask yourself, “Why in the world would I want to do that?” Consider this: humble people are free. Their identity doesn’t rest on public opinion. Instead of chasing after approval, their sense of well-being comes from the proper ordering of their affections. They see themselves honestly as they stand in the light of God. In short, they have perspective. It’s about freedom and liberation from the death grip of ego. Humility is revolutionary. A situation that once might have jeopardized my ”false self”, the self of my own accomplishment, was instead a situation that endeared those women to me…for they all very lovingly reached out there own hands to touch the woman (and made it look like that’s what I had intended to do) as I sheepishly grinned at them in appreciation.

Practicing humility is a good reminder for me at this time of year when report cards are sent, sports teams are wrapping up, and awards are given out. And it is good news for the many who don’t get A’s, whose team doesn’t win, and for those who don’t receive an award: blessed are the poor in spirit. God still dwells with those who are “contrite and lowly in spirit.”

Sometimes it is in keeping our eyes low that we catch the gaze of “him who made himself of no reputation.” This week may you find yourself in low places and discover a Divine Connection.

Gods Peace,

Leslie Stewart

www.godlanguage.com

Divine Connection:Self-Care

Divine Connection: For bone-weary Burbmoms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect to the Divine.

The prophetic weatherman made a shocking statement in his forecast this morning. He told an area of the country not to be concerned about a rather productive weather pattern heading it’s way, “because it is outrunning its energy source and is about to disintigrate.” Does that describe what happens to you every summer as you pack your schedule with family visits and as many entertaining activities as can be found? Is your current daily routine (where you frequently get to direct your own attention) about to be abandoned until the end of August?

I’m going to be very honest here: I love my family but the summer exhausts me! And I know I’m not alone in that. Around the end of July I’ll catch the sideways glance of a frazzled, Starbucks-slurping mom as we pass in Walmart. I’ll tap my watch and thus wordlessly offer the encouragement to hang in there a few more weeks when we can get some much needed alone time.  Usually I end the summer much like the weather pattern was described: formerly productive, fast-moving but outrunning my energy source and disintegrating. Well Sister, don’t outrun your energy source this year! Schedule time to make a Divine Connection!

If you want to end the summer as integrated and whole as you began it, you’re going to need two things: a commitment and a plan.  Make self-care an important priority and commit to do something for yourself daily, whether that’s taking time to workout, go for a walk around the block, sit quietly with your thoughts and prayers for an hour each morning, or getting a night out with the girls each week. It isn’t a “nicety” it’s a necessity that keeps us connected to ourselves and to God. Before I can truly raise my attention to God, I need to “recollect” myself…to literally recollect my senses from “out there” to the “in here” where me and God live. Remember, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so glorify God in your body. (1 Cor 6:19,20)  We are to have a healthy respect for our mortal bodies. As one Christian prayer puts it:

“Oh holy God, in the incarnation of Your Son our Lord, You made our flesh the instrument of Your self-revelation.”

So, I’m setting an incentive and goal to ensure I stay balanced this summer. I will actually write down on my daily appointment calendar, time for me each day. I’m going to make my plan now about how to arrange my schedule around that time. For example: I’ve signed my son up for music camp and lessons one day per week. I’ll use that for some time alone to read and reflect. I’m holding back $5 from each grocery store visit and putting that in my self-care fund. I’ll trade off babysitting days with a girlfriend so we can each get a spa day.  I’ve heard wonderful reviews of Zenity Spa in Allen and I’m going to call and schedule an appointment at the end of July. Check out their spa packages at www.zenityspa.com. (I figure Queen Esther had beauty treatments every day for a year, at the very least I can do one day this summer!)

You can do this but you need to start planning now. Here are some questions for critical reflection: What do you really need to maintain a healthy balance between taking care of others and taking care of yourself? Who can you ask for help? What resources do you have that enable you to take time for yourself? What resources does my church offer…i.e. childcare during bible study? Are you overcommitted? Are you suffering from perfect mom idealism and setting expectations too high for this summer? What do you think are life’s greatest simple pleasures? What activities give you comfort and joy? What do your children need to know about self-care…and would that enable you to have more time?

Take care of yourself, and may it be well with your soul!

God’s Peace,

Leslie Stewart

www.godlanguage.com

Divine Connection: Gratitude

Divine Connection: For bone-weary Burb Moms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect with the Divine

What if I told you there was a hot topic in scientific research that is a proven method of increasing your sense of well-being? This method increases your happiness, reduces stress and depression, and helps you feel more satisfied in your relationships and with life in general. The people who employ this powerful method exhibit more control over their lives, produce more personal growth, have more self-acceptance, and have a greater sense of purpose in life. This method is known as: Gratitude. Grateful people enjoy all these benefits and they even sleep better! (Now what Burb Mom couldn’t use that!)

Gratitude is being thankful for a received benefit. The scientific journal called Emotion (2008 vol 8, 281-290)  reports that the amount of gratitude we experience depends on our perception of three things: (1) the value of what is received (2) the cost to the one who gives, and (3) that it is given with good intentions rather than ulterior motives.  Studies show that a person who feels grateful is motivated to seek out their benefactor and improve relationship with them. So clearly, a focus on Gratitude to God is a way to make a Divine Connection!

I can think of no better example of a valuable benefit given at a high price than Jesus on the cross, but Will Smith does a great job of depicting sacrificial gifts in his movie Seven Pounds. What if you were going through life with a disability or limited life span because of something deficient? What if it was your child? And what if someone willingly gave their life to help you? How grateful would you be?

Wouldn’t you appreciate every little thing that so many take for granted–noticing the wonder of star light and yor baby breathing and your husband’s smile?  Would that drive you to live more abundantly–kiss more, laugh more and share treasured moments with family and friends? Wouldn’t the rest of your time be lived not just for you but also in the name of the one who gave it all for you? The psalmist wrote, “What shall I return to the Lord for all his bounty to me?” (Psalm 116:12) That’s the soul’s natural response to God in gratitude. What is your response?

“Gratitude is the key to a virtuous life. Conversely, all sin boils down to ingratitude–to an abuse or neglect of God’s gifts.” ~Mark E. Thibodeaux

Are there any of God’s gifts you’ve abused or under-appreciated lately? Perhaps this week you could practice gratitude especially for those gifts. One way to practice gratitude is to write a letter to someone for whom you are grateful.  Everyone loves to be appreciated. It is a practice that is life affirming and life building.

“Express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it. ~Ralph Marston

I am grateful for many things including you, dear reader. You have my love and prayers for abundant living.

God’s Peace,

Leslie Stewart

www.godlanguage.com

[see annotated research at Wikipedia.com entry for Gratitude]

Divine Connection: Labyrinth

Divine Connection: For bone-weary Burb Moms who need to recollect themselves and reconnect to the Divine.

A labyrinth is a marked path that signifies a spiritual pilgrimage. To walk and pray a labyrinth is an ancient Christian practice, though it is used in other faith traditions. It dates back to the days when believers would make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. If they could not make that journey, they would pray and walk a labyrinth. I can’t help but think of these words whenever I walk a labyrinth: “All the roads we have to walk are winding. And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.” A rock group named Oasis wrote that several years ago but I think we can all relate to that sentiment these days.

There is so much change and uncertainty in our lives. So many are unemployed or are about to be. Families strain on restricted budgets of money and time. It is difficult to know the way we should take. Motherhood presents its own set of difficulties and confusion. The way varies with each child’s personality, and there are so many options to choose from every day. I want to get it right. But I’m not too far down the motherhood path before I notice that there is the intended path and there is the actual path–what really happened–as a result of heading this way.

As much as I want to control the aspects of my life and my child’s life, some things–most things–just sort of happen along the way. That’s part of the messy, chaotic beauty of life. (I comfort myself with that thought as a pack of wild neighborhood boys runs through my living room and upsets a basket of neatly folded laundry…for the second time!) But sometimes the way seems hidden from me and the path appears dark and ominous. Not just a little scary…I mean, we’re walking to our certain doom kind of ominous. What do you comfort yourself with then?

The answer is: nothing. You don’t look to yourself. When it’s that frightening we all look outside of ourselves for “whence cometh my help.” We realize we need a rescue. If you are in a situation like this then praying a labyrinth can be great comfort. It reminds us that the roads are winding; there are also good turns that come when we least expect them. What we see as inevitable is often interrupted by the hairpin corners of life, and when we walk a little further down the path we have an entirely different perspective. A labyrinth reminds us that God is at the center of it all. He knows the way that I take.

Christians take comfort in knowing God came in human flesh to walk this same path. There is nothing we can face that isn’t familiar to him. In preparation for Easter we reflect on this man of sorrows.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3

I don’t mean to imply you should only walk a labyrinth if your circumstances are dark. The depth and breadth of those who need comfort right now compelled me to address that application of this spiritual practice, but there are many ways to pray a labyrinth.

• Some people who want to decide or discern a matter will pray before entering a labyrinth and determine to hold that matter in their heart as they walk. It is a great mystery that somehow God meets them along the way or captures their attention in the turns to reveal truth.
• Some pay attention to the thoughts and feeling that come to mind as they reflect on their life journey while walking a labyrinth. That could be reflecting on their life journey this week, this month, this year, etc.
• Some just pray to open themselves to God and listen as they walk the labyrinth.

There are several labyrinths in the Dallas metroplex you could try but I recommend the one at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Richardson. It is located at 600 S. Jupiter Rd. It is in the courtyard of their church so it is outdoors but the church must be open so you can pass through it to the courtyard. It is designed like the famous labyrinth at Chartes Cathedral in France. Amazing music plays through speakers surrounding the labyrinth. It is a beautiful experience you can share with your kids if you don’t think they’ll disturb other pray-ers. Kids are naturally kinesthetic learners. My son loved walking (and running) the labyrinth and I was happy to show him that being mindful of God isn’t confined to church walls or church pews.

I recommend you call the church office Phone: 972-231-2951 during their office hours to see how late or early you can have access. Some nights it is available until 9pm or 10pm. Come and try a new experience with God; take “a closer walk” with Him in a labyrinth. You just might make a Divine Connection.

God’s Peace,

Leslie Stewart

www.godlanguage.com